|
|
You can also talk about their dreams and aspirations, encourage them. Presenting yourself as a pillar of support, and let them confide in you and you in them. Adults irrespective of their gender like to be cuddled, spoken softly to, praised and loved. Some schools of thought think only the female craves such attention but this is far from the truth. If and when this remarkable aspect of relationship bonding is neglected and not utilized, it gradually breaks the partners apart. One or both of them will feel unloved, unwanted, not cherished, neglected, unimportant, subdued and will feel as if they have lost their allure. ‘Unfaithfulness’ seems to be the only answer, as they tend to get back those sweet moments they have lost, or are still seeking someone who can tell them what they want to hear and make them feel loved.
Intimacy, passion, excitement and adventure are other ingredients in the recipe of a lasting relationship. In a relationship were all these are missing, the ugly face of ‘unfaithfulness’ will definitely reveal itself. If one or both of the partners finds out that the relationship lacks intimacy, they might conclude that their partner is tired of them. A relationship lacking passion, excitement and adventure, eventually falls like a deck of cards. One or both of the partners could seek solace and try to recapture these missing bits in another person, thereby committing infidelity.
In our society, where more than half of our nation’s populations are schlepping under the cumbersome weight of poverty, material needs could force a partner to become unfaithful. This usually affects the females, since they rely on the male partner to provide financially, however, this does not completely exempt the male gender. ‘Money is the root of all evil’, they say, and in this case it could be the root of infidelity as well. Like the evil it is, it grips the relationship by the scruff of its neck and forces one or both of the partners to damn every consequence and go after someone more financially stable. This is a major threat to a lasting relationship. People discard their sense of humour, their ego, their self-esteem, their pride and their personality for money, thereby unleashing an animalistic habit. When I speak of money as an infidelity stimulant I do not intend to generalize ‘money’ as only ‘physical cash’. It also includes other things that bring wealth, power or fame. A love of money, power and fame overtakes good judgment.
Infidelity can also be caused by an intruding ex-lover, who continued to be in one of the partners' lives. Old fires can be rekindled and these old fires do not take time to ignite because the intimacy between them has already taken root. This could be made worse if the old lover’s break up was not caused by any fracas.
Past emotional moments could be relived and the playback serves a tricky role in loosening the defensive guard of a partner who is under this pressure. The partner in question could find himself/herself attached to this old lover until the urge to repeat past experiences sticks in their head and refuses to go away.
If the ex-lover is desperate, he or she could harp on about what they had shared together in the past, setting the flesh of the victim on fire until the urge paves way to sheer animalistic desire. Then ‘unfaithfulness’ is reborn. It may even become a constant practice as the person becomes obsessed with the interloper of an ex-lover. The person’s present lover may or may not find out about the illicit transaction of passion between his/her lover with an ex-lover but this does not make any difference since the transgression has been committed.
Distance always presents an unnecessary and lame excuse for ‘unfaithfulness’ to take centre stage. With lovers far apart, feelings of loneliness gradually wrap cold arms around one or both partners. When the feeling of disparity engulfs one partner or both, the end product is always ‘infidelity’. They could feel very lonely and long for the company of the opposite sex. Libido could start rising, making it difficult for the one in desperate need of his/her partner, who is miles away, to stay aloof from jumping onto another’s bed. Nymphomaniacs and philanderers are very vulnerable to this massive distraction in a relationship but this is a topic for discussion in another article. The preventive measures and perhaps cure to this problematic and damaging character trait are not impracticable. The unseen buttons of character traits that are embedded in every one of us could be controlled by us. I believe that ‘unfaithfulness’ sits calmly in one corner, like all other characters of our robotic creation, until we tap into it. Then, gradually it is turned on and released. This could be reversed – the mechanism is not very different from that of a remote control electronic that comes on and goes off at the push of the same button.
Boredom, as was discussed is an ‘infidelity’ prompter, can be cut off even before it is turned on. A couple in a relationship could prevent boredom from creeping into their relationship so long as the enthusiasm that was in them at the beginning of the relationship stays alive. In order for this to be accomplished there should be total understanding. There should be fire to keep the relationship burning. Both partners should constantly explore each other, learn more about each other, get as close as they can and shut out any other intruders of the opposite sex. They should see each day as the very first of their romantic escapade and re-live the quixotic times they had had together. They should see their partner as the greatest among their gender.
|
Tags
You must be logged in to add tags.
|
Writer Profile
kevin M
I am a Nigerian and an avid reader who also take great pleasure in putting pen on paper. I believe that with the right expression of words written with my pen people could change for the better and correct or curb some ills eating deep into our system of government or life in general. Poverty and corruption have always been Africa's most dreaded diseases and Nigeria is no exception. I write fiction and non-fiction and also write articles on any subject, especially that concerning the well-being of the poor masses. I wish to be an acclaimed writer and author and a motivational speaker
|
Comments
You must be a TakingITGlobal member to post a comment. Sign up for free or login.
|
|
