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She held her focus on the tip of the cigarette
where it touched the flame from my lighter
timidly she took a step back
into the darkness behind her, "Thank you, sir."
and with a smile I replied, you're welcome
then her face lifted with surprise and loosened with relief
her eyes said, "I'm sorry I didn't know,"
but really what she knew
was what she was all too familiar with
and the instinct to protect herself
She was going to crown me King
until she recognized the characteristic curves
that could only mean one thing
"oh I'm sorry," she whispered,
and scanned the rest of the room
for a true man worthy of the title
while I sat there thinking
if I could have fit the role
was she sorry that she made a mistake
or that what I was could not make me king?
She turned my way and shot me a defensive look
like a wolf defending its territory
daring me to walk closer
"I think you're in the wrong bathroom," she said
and I wondered if she knew
that a stray dog gets tired too
of being chased from place to place
without a home of its own
that sometimes it really can't understand
why it has to protect itself from its own kind
And so it goes
the men's room is over there
but this is the lady section
can I help you, sir?
I'm so, so sorry
yeah I'm sorry too
I'm sorry that I don't fit exactly
that I unintentionally insult and surprise
But what can I do
before the fear subsides
What is there to do
if I can't change the rules
And what am I to do
before I can find my place?
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Christina Chan
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