|by D'Arcy Juni|
|Published on: Feb 27, 2005|
|Type: Short Stories|
|"Alrighty, I'll meet you at the cinema at seven sharp....love ya, Arnie!"
"Ah-nold loves you too..."
And with that, Arnold hung up the phone. Instantly, all the little red buttons around his phone dial started flashing to signify waiting calls. Despite the fact that he had just snagged a date with Tim, Arnold was anything but happy.
"You're big, strong, handsome... you've got money, and you're intelligent! You can achieve anything you want, and have any woman you please," his mother back in Panama would proudly tell him whenever he called her. And she was right. For a Spanish-speaker who knew not a word of English when he had come to Canada three years ago, he had come pretty far, and was quite successful. Now, at the age of 30, he had just graduated from university with a Bachelor of Arts in communication, and got himself a job working for Bell, one of the most popular phone services around. He was a phone assistance operator, and if it hadn't been for his degree, he probably would not have been hired. But although he was now good with the English language, his Spanish accent affected his articulateness a bit.
Arnold is tall, big and burly with a muscular body and handsome face. He recently got a job as a part-time model that the cameras and ladies loved. His jobs granted him an income just above middle class. He owned and lived alone in a huge Victorian-style house in a beautiful nieghbourhood. Everything seemed to be going fine for him, but he was depressed. It was being gay that bothered him so much. When no woman, no matter how intriguing in personality or beauty could wake his interest, he had turned to his long-time friend Tim for consolence. And since that day, their bond grew ever stronger and closer. Soon Arnold had grown an unforseen love for Tim which frightened him. Being gay was against everything he was taught, but learning that Tim felt the same for him, only made him feel stronger towards the guy.
Arnold looked around his work cubicle for something, anything to divert his attention from the flashing lights and the phone. First he was using the business phone for personal calls, and now he was stalling work. He loved his job at Bell, but his depression seemed to be taking a toll on his productivity. As he sat at his desk, he stared blankly into the dimmed computer screen in front of him. His reflection looked almost as distressed as he felt. Even his charmingly bouncy brown locks seemed to droop. His cocoa eyes pleaded back at him. Being gay was a part of who he was and he knew it.
I feel like I can't live with him, nor without him, he thought to himself miserably. He couldn't forget about this issue; he knew it was going to take acceptance. Even now, under his work clothes, he wore a neon pink tank top and matching lingerie which made him feel more complete and sexy. But at the same time, a monster. While the friendship bracelet Tim had given him seemed to let him know everything was alright, and loving Tim was okay, as they were both human beings. And love is not restricted to only the opposite gender of which you are or represent. His mind seemed to scream in denial.