March 28th 2004, 2 am.
He walked me into the forest
The smell
The air
The sweetness
“Who are you?”
“Who am I ?”
Why were we together?
We were just having a great time finding the answer.
No answer we found
Of course
As there was no answer to be found
Not the answer that was important
Whatever it was, we were together, as simple as that.
Playing hide and seek among our self- created confusion.
We were just kids
Talking like prophets
Until we chose
To let
Our confusions, illusions, emotions
Naked
And replaced
Vagueness
By simple ness
Why were we together?
We chose to know each other
It was that simple.
The game ended.
The journey started.
Thrown our bodies down to the softness of the earth
The smell of mud and wood and wetness covered his shirt.
Sun rays reached out, playing, poking every single inch of my body and face
I looked into his eyes, searching for the vibrations of colors, emotions and thoughts.
I looked at the sky of the lost spring
Titillating among grey wild grass, purple toes were released into relaxation
White sandals tied bare feet from touching the earth
Not yet liberated from constraints, things were to be let go,
Yet, I could feel relaxation running through my occupied feet and toes.
Why? I wanted to know.
Turning my head, through the blowing curls of hair
I looked at him questing for an answer.
In the sun, he smiled.
I closed my eyes.
Brain gave up
Leaving me floating into my infinite serenity.
Fear, passion, love and life
Questions haunted our young souls
They trickled every nerve of our brains
And dribbled through the veins
To explode and constrain our hearts
Wouldn’t it be wonderland?
If the world were just this forest
In the sunlight, we came together
Neither as yellow and red
Nor as masculine and feminine
But human beings with fear and passion
Attraction and consent
And an emerging agape love
In the blowing winds
In the burning sun
In the essence of wilderness and infinity
Little bird swing its softness
Flirting with time and space
We wish we could be little birds
To fly as high and as far as we could
But
Lying dead on the wet grey grass
So small little human intrigued by the roller coaster of life
Wanting to take the easy road just to be fine
In the end of the day, here we were
Lying dead on the wet grey grass
Trying tirelessly to restore our balance
As we stared at each other
And wondered, questioned and challenged
One mouth and two ears each of us was given
To teach and learn
To talk and listen
As we stared at each other
A stream of compassion and trust
Running through our eyes
Dipping into our souls
Suddenly our hearts were open
And the souls became brave enough
To choose the difficult road
Where we saw
Borders, fences and barriers
Of culture, ideologies and things that mattered
Were set up for us to break down
Had we ever met
In that world when we were wild horses and eagles?
Or we might have been born in the same age and place
Then why it took us so long to choose to know each other
When we might have been long lost brothers and sisters or even lovers?
Why should it be a matter?
When the only beauty we should appreciate
Existing right here, right now
That was all that mattered
That was when we were together
Naked from faces and freed from social borders
With a burning stick healing his pain
And the gentle touch of hands healing my heart
Our allure of future and past
Withered to create
A space
For presence to come into existence.
If the past was something that hurt so much
Then why sticking to it and dragging down my little heart
While there was so much precious deserving more of my love?
Like the little bird that brought me a sense of freedom and hope
Or sunshine that warmed up my body and reminded me the existence of life
Or the little fire he created for me and for him
Out of sticks, lighter and stone
To watch and feel its warmth
And enjoy its sacred dancing in the cold wet smell of the dark.
Or he the companion called Red Hawk with whom I had all the time in this world
Even it was for short
To go through my fear and bothering thoughts
To appreciate my powerful ability to love
To celebrate my gratefulness of being loved
Or the tender and generous mother Earth
Who took me into her lap
And pampered me into presence, relaxation, balance and relief
Until the bleeding pain dried up and drifted away
And he saw a smile rising in my eyes.
We might have been long lost sisters, brothers or even lovers
Why did we choose to challenge and ignore one another?
And chose to get rid of the bonds that we achieved
Through our brave victory of breaking borders and fences.
Because life was given for us to live and not to miss
Because two ears and one nose we were given
To teach and learn
To listen and talk
Shall I choose not to know you and let you not know me?
Shall we choose to be toads at the bottom of the well?
While knowing we could be much more than that
Like to be the birds flying freely in the sky of freedom and hope?
As the meaning of life is just a humpty dumpty egg
Closed outside well covered the inside open space
Round and firm, yet fragile and weak.
If we were to break it down
Shall we be able to construct it back?
If we could leave behind
Our masculine and feminine
Yellow and white
To continue our journey of teaching and learning
Providing each other with healing, love and courage
As simple, compassionate and magnanimous beings
Only when we resist the temptation of the easy path.
Shall we start living and not missing so much
In the end we are just kids and no prophets
Excited and nervous to enter the difficult road
Of learning to live, grow and evolve.
We may continue our journey together
Or we may drifted apart in our own roads to future
But if we were long lost brothers and sisters and lovers
One day again we will be destined to find each other.
He walked me out of the forest
The smell
The air
The sweetness
…
« return.