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I came to the world four years ago, but I wasn’t alone. I was one of two twins. I remember being held up-side down and wrapped in something warm. But what I remember most is what happened when my twin came to life after me. Just as soon as everybody saw him they cried in joy, “It’s a boy! It’s a boy!” My dad came into the room, kissed my mom on the forehead and held my twin in his arms happily. He gave the baby to her and, together, they kept on kissing him and admiring his beauty. I started to cry to remind them of myself being their other baby. I felt that they were happier with my baby brother than me, but then I thought this was impossible because we are both their babies, and we both came in the same time. However, it didn’t turn out to be as impossible as I thought.
My parents, both of them, loved my baby brother more than me. They just did not seem to leave him alone for a moment; always carrying him, or feeding him, or playing with him, or singing to him and or telling him bed-time stories. Everyday they brought him a new toy, and the more he broke his toys the more they bought him other toys. All they could ever talk about was how they will raise him up, which language school they would admit him to, what kind of education they wanted him to have, what would they do to insure his future, they even discussed to which college he would go when he would finish high school. It was amazing watching them preoccupying themselves with every single detail of my brother’s future life, while I, his baby twin, was not receiving half as much attention as he was, although my need for care and affection was not by any means less than his.
I had to do something about it. I decided that if they did not give me enough attention, then I should earn it. I should make them feel how much I am in need of their love. I started having brand new habits that they found annoying, I am afraid. I showed no appetite for food and hardly ate; I kept on breaking my toys and throwing them about, and I was crying frequently, almost reasonless. I had hoped that these habits would be enough to attract their attention and make them give me some, just some, of the care that they gave to my brother. There was a great deal of change in their attitude towards me, but not the kind of change I had hoped for.
True that my parents started to notice my presence, but my new habits seemed to evoke nothing in them but hostility. They turned from the stage of not-caring, to the stage of not-liking, and they were really good at showing their disapproval of me. Their reactions ranged from verbal criticism, to physical harm sometimes. They talked about me to people as if I sinned. They pictured me as the evil, wretched devil in comparison to their beloved, pure, lovely angel, my brother. Everybody took a long-lasting impression about me that I was bad, that I was useless and of no good, that I brought nothing but trouble. I myself started to feel that way about myself.
Only one question occupied me for all my life. What’s a boy and what’s a girl? There is a difference between them of course, they talk differently and think differently, but at heart they are the same. They both need love, care and respect. They both deserve to have their chances in life. They both have the right to learn, work, and gain new experiences in life. They both deserve to be respected for who they are. I do not know how come someone as young as I am can understand such facts when my parents can not, but I think this is because my instinct in still alive, and had not been killed by silly traditions and un-justified social beliefs. I wish they could understand that, because I feel that what I have gone through will be nothing compared to the troubles I will face in my future if they do not, and I have learnt to trust my sense.
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Nourhan Mohammad Aboulabbas
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Comments
Cheryl | Nov 4th, 2003
Your article speaks the truth of the unfair treatment between females and males. Even nowadays where the whole world is supposed to be equal amongst gender and race, in many countries all around the world, parents still favour males over females. It is utterly disgusting to see such favourism in the 21st century. What is the difference between the genders anyways?? We are all born from mothers, we all have facial features, legs, arms and brains. Both genders are alike in some way. I understand that in the olden days they thought that males should be the head of the household and recieve education because they are stronger and even smarter. However; that is not true.Females are just as witty,just as strong possibly. Females are also responsible. There shouldn't have been any sexism at all years ago. Growing up in a country where sexism does take place, I had had experienced the favourism between genders. My brother was always my family's first priority. I was terribly jealous but there was nothing I could do. Once I came to Canada though, my brother helped speak my mind to reach my parents' olden day beliefs of sexism.
It's wonderful to see you're still alive in your spirits and not taken back from your furture just because of the senseless belief of the past. I agree 100% with your perspective on the similarities between both genders. At least now, the world respects the female gender more. We see female stars taking part in male activities. Females are standing up for themselves through the media nowadays to fight for their equity in this unfair society. Though the "free" countries are treating the female gender equally, there are still many many countries around the world supporting sexism. The media supporting women are certainly launching an overwhelmiing sense of confidence to the younger female generations. Hopefully, soon, all around the world, people would realize that females and males should be treated the same!
Powerful article though! Great!!
Rebecca Li | Nov 5th, 2003
I think this article has totally pointed out how terrible sexism is. Back then people always wanted their babies to be boys but not girls because the people wanted to continue their generation. They thought that, in the future, once their daughters get married, they would change their last name to their husband’s last name, so there is no point of raising them. That isn’t suppose to be the way it goes though. No matter what happens they’re still supposed to be their special ones. You’re not suppose to determine how much love you’re going to give them by the gender they are. Everyone needs love and care.
In this case, since they treat the brother like treasure, they might be very over protective, so the brother might not have much freedom. The brother might have a lot of pressure because the parents always expect him to be perfect. The sister wants them to give more attention to her, and maybe the brother wants them to loosen up on him a bit. So why not just stop sexism? Why must there be sexism in this world? There really isn’t much difference between males and females. Everybody in this world should have equal right, respects, etc. Now a days female can do many things that people believed they could not do back then.
There is already so many problems in this world, if we are able to stop sexism, it will become a better world. Not only will this help us but this will help everyone around the whole world.
Wendy Chen | Nov 6th, 2003
I've always wondered why males get more attention than females do. It's unfair, I know. Like you said, we may talk differently and think differently, but at heart we're all the same. Why do people treat others differently because of their sex? Does it matter that much? No!
Women in olden days were treated poorly and are expected to obey whatever men tell them. They are also considered to be as useless as junk. I don't think that's right. Why should we women obey what men say? Besides, junk can be re-used and can still be fixed to do the same functions as if it were new. Just like junk, if everyone tried to dump those silly traditions and unjustified social beliefs, they’ll know women are the same as men! We should be equal! We should learn to stand up for ourselves! We're all humans, after all.
Many people in certain places today still don't allow females to go to school. They think it's not right and females wouldn't learn much anyway. They also think a female learning is a waste of money. They think there's no use for females to learn since they sit at home and do chores when they grow up anyway. We women have the right to be educated and learn just as much as men do. Be more open-minded!
We women are improving and getting out of those chores. Many women now have more education than men do. Look at all the businesswomen in the world, compare it to the past century or decade. This shows that women are improving every year in education and the business world. This proves women can do better than men can. Go women!
Stop being sexist!
Kimberley Cheung | Nov 6th, 2003
Really, what is the difference because a girl and a boy? Yes, they are different physically and mentally but at heart they are the same like you said. How could people judge a person by their sex, especially if they are children. Children should be loved and cared no matter what sex they are because it is not their fault if they are a male or female.
In the olden days, they thought that women were too weak to work or working for money
was wrong for a women. They thought that women was not as strong as men. Who ever even thought of that idea! Women are just as strong as men. In my culture, I still don
ahmed | Mar 23rd, 2004
this article is very heart touching, & realistic one.
But i want to change our concentration here, by saying that, no douht the hardships you got in life are unbearable, but when you get that time in your life please don't repeat these things; by any mean.
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