Being fooled by your ego can really make you blind, I got blinded by the fact that I was a wonderful students, my teachers loved me, my friends looked at me as their role-model and basically, I was a model student for everyone.
But during my last year of high school, I took the risk of depending on my cleverness alone, I didn't study anymore, I looked at studying as a humiliating thing.
The result was of course, failing high school....the day of results had come and I got my result "failed". That was the moment when I finally woke up and smelled the coffee...
I've learned it the hard way, me, the spoiled girl who had everything any girl would want...I've learned that looks don't matter, ego doesn't matter, being a model doesn't matter. What matters is the final result, only you hard work can give you a wonderful final result.
I cried silently, loudly, nightly, daily...until one day, I decided to stand up on my feet again, fail once, fail twice, fail again, fail better...
Wiping my tears away, I applied to do the official high school exam again. For several months, I studied, but not as hard as I should have done, at that point, I didn't take it as seriously as it deserves. And once again...I failed...
It was my last chance now, if I didn't pass this time, the Ministry Of Education would wipe away all of my marks which are scored as "pass" and would put me way back to square zero..
It was my last chance, and I took it with whatever pride I had left, with whatever tears I have shed, with whatever regret I had...
No support from the people around, everyone lost faith in me, and I almost lost faith in myself..this was the first rule I have learned, do not eve lose faith in yourself. The day of results had come by, and just minutes before the results came out, I started crying so badly that I had a headache, I was so scared, did I do it? Could I have done it??
"Passed" was written on the screen, I did not believe it, I refreshed the browser and tried it again "passed"...again "passed"..again "passed"....passed...passed! I did it! I passed!
Hysterically crying and laughing at the same time, I passed people! I did it! I have proved that I can do it!!!
Today, I'm a student at The University Of Jordan, first year, planning to study "applied English" starting next semester, working at a project as a coach...and most of all..proud of myself.
July 28th 2006 was the day that changed my life, it was the day in which I passed the nightmare forever...
Faith, never lose faith, you can do anything you want, if you only had faith!
Motivate yourself, give yourself a reward every time you take a step forward, who says this is not alright to do?
Ignore what others might say or do to put you down, you are capable of getting past anything in your way
Focus on your goal, for you should know what you're going for
Beneath the impossible, to be honest, there is no such thing called impossible, it is only a word
And most of all, be proud of what you have done so far, because you have done so much, thank yourself....and do it.
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