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From the issue raised by Prince Charles (kashboy) one of our TIG member on his "friend Oke beat his girlfriend" and looking at the various responses given, i felt the need to get deeper into the subject (for now) on physical abuse and violence into depth with the hope that it will shed some light into see the gravity of the matter and probably help Oke to face why he showed such violence to his girlfriend. It may be a single incidence and the harm caused is not grave which we cannot judge him over because we understand sometimes we might be in some circumstances which make us behave inhumanly but on second thought we regret of it. Nevertheless, a wider consideration may be of importance to help Oke in case it is something deep in him. At this point, i will focus on what physical violence is and what might be its causes. In the next submission i may consider the effects and what can be done.
Physical abuse and violence
This form is understood as the use of physical force to control another in a way that it may end up injuring the other person or putting him or her in danger of being hurt. This ranges from the explicit physical assault, battering, physical restraint or murder.
For many reasons we find a member of the family mostly the male members beating, bruising, punching, burning, choking, pinching, kicking, pushing and even stropping the female ones causing them physical injury. These are all classified as physical abuse and violence.
Causes
There are many different theories as to the causes of domestic violence. As with many phenomena regarding human experience, no one approach appears to cover all cases. Generally the identified causes include a need for power and control, socio-cultural influences, unresolved childhood conflicts, the stress of poverty, hostility and resentment toward women/men, substance abuse, personality disorders, among other possible causative factors.
1 Socio-Cultural Attitudes
In patriarchal societies, violence and abuse relates to men’s capacity for, and their need to, devalue women. The extent to which the process of devaluation - the reduction of the other person to a thing that is nothing, to a valueless nothing, a contemptible nothing, a disposable nothing is the same extent in which one abuses and violently treats them. However there is a significant shift, some women are now abusing men in their relationships, but the underlying attitude of devaluation is the same.
2 Poverty
Increase in violence is linked to lack of financial resources which renders innocent, and vulnerable members of the family deprived and oppressed and consequently injustices and violence vented against them. The degree to which abuse correlates with poverty, and the extent to which poverty causes abuse are ambiguous. However, studies show that in low-income families and relationships violence is high. This does not necessarily confirm that violence is more prevalent among poor families than wealthier ones, only that the population most readily available for study is predominantly low-income. This leads us to the next cause.
3 Financial disputes
The commonest cause of violence is misunderstanding resulting from money matters. Financial disputes heighten marital tensions and the possible violence. In many forums, we hear women who have been abused for attempting to secure food and clothing for themselves and the children or requesting greater allowance or reproaching their spouses for misuse of finances.
In some situations where women have secured legal rights on ownership, management and dispose of property it would mean that the man has to use the ultimate authority on his side, sometimes physical force to obtain compliance from his spouse to his wishes.
4 Power and control
In many situations violence is charged as a strategy to gain or maintain power and control over the victim. The perpetrator wants to possess power over his or her target. Alternatively, the abuse may arise from the feeling of powerlessness of the aggressor leading to attempts to project their powerlessness into exercise of control of the victim. Such behaviors become addictive fueling further cycle of abuse or violence. Mutual cycles develop when each party attempts to resolve their own powerlessness in attempting to assert control.
5. Male privilege
Wife-beating in some cultures favoring the male gender is considered a disciplinary measure for the man to govern his family. In this way any harsh treatment of the wife is not in any way associated with violence. With this kind of attitude men grow knowing that to discipline their female counterparts or to resolve a problem, a man should use physical force. The men are not favoured either as violence against them is kept silent and further perpetuated since it is inconceivable for a man to claim a victim of violence or abuse from a woman.
6 The cycle of violence
It is true without exaggeration that children who have been brought up in violent environments like families or schools, they themselves become abusive adults and the cycle goes on. When violence in the family setup becomes a way of life and perfectly normal to resolve issues, it is identified that even on simple disagreements, members tend to use excessive force. Having lost the feeling of empathy, people from abusive and violent families tend to use violence in almost all spheres of their lives, domestic, social, political etc.
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Dennis Nyakundi Onguti
I am the sixth of eight children of a polygamous family. After graduating from high school, I was asked to help in a local girls secondary school teaching mathematics after the death of the teacher. This time was exciting and it was then that I had an opportunity to see my own potential and those of the young people. I realised encouragement and the availability of resources can unleash the inner strength of the young to do great things and I promised to dedicate myself to the service of the young. In 1999, I entered into a religious missionary congregation of the Consolata with the intention of becoming a priest so I can reach young people all over the world.
I finished my first degree in philosophy in 2003 with a diploma in religious studies. I took a one year break to one of the provinces for one year helping the young people to develop micro-scale business. It was really a beautiful experience!
I am currently pursuing a degree in Religious studies and a diploma in Youth Ministry.
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