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                    <title>TIGblogs - Cherrie's TIGBlog</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/</link> 
                    <description>What's on the minds of young leaders from around the globe?</description> 
                    <language>en-us</language> 
             
                <item> 
                    <title>Humidity</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/5109721</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[Is it bad that my nose has been bleeding on and off since I woke up this morning? It's just because I've had a cold (blowing my nose all the time) and the heating+dryness, right? And is the weird semi-disorientating headache I've had due to the nose bleed or is it due to dehydration?<div><br />
<br />Is it weird to drape a wet flannel over the radiator and leave cups of water open to the air to humidify my room? Does it work?</div><br />
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Meh. I thought my nose-bleeding days were behind me!nbsp;</div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width="1" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-4513190110950191690?l%3Dcherrieland.blogspot.com" alt="" /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/UqMct3GRtkQ" height="1" width="1" />]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 12 Nov 2011 02:11:00 -0500</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/5109721</guid>
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                <item> 
                    <title>Pencil</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/5027725</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><br />
<tr><td><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E26sjIfr_es/TptZ1gsSStI/AAAAAAAAE7A/XV5l4uUQvF8/s1600/DSC07562-1.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E26sjIfr_es/TptZ1gsSStI/AAAAAAAAE7A/XV5l4uUQvF8/s320/DSC07562-1.JPG" width="216" /></a></td></tr><br />
<tr><td>Symmetry</td></tr><br />
</tbody></table><br />
I bought a shiny new <a href="http://www.staedtler.com/tradition_gb.Staedtler#ctl05_Tab-product-tab-1">Staedler 6B pencil</a>nbsp;about 3 weeks agonbsp;and I finally got around to using its squishy goodness, although now I realise why it is cheaper thannbsp;<a href="http://www.staedtler.com/Mars_Lumograph_eng.Staedtler#ctl08_Tab-product-tab-1">Staedler Mars Lumograph</a>nbsp;(what I had in NZ, Mum/Dad's set). I should really just go and buy an expensive pencil and see what it feels like, e.g. <a href="http://www.bristolfineart.co.uk/sketching-pencils-and-charcoal/derwent-sketching-pencils/derwent-graphic-pencil/c-dwntgrph/">Derwent</a>. Wow, it goes up to 9B - how dark is that? Whoooarrrraaaaghhhhhhhuuuhhh.<div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width="1" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-4339879281917017736?l%3Dcherrieland.blogspot.com" alt="" /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/e2kSoulbP1E" height="1" width="1" />]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sun, 16 Oct 2011 07:10:00 -0400</pubDate> 
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                <item> 
                    <title>Diet</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4979941</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<div><br />
</div><br />
<div><br />
I need to improve my diet, I think.</div><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kivkyH6slck/Tn22D3Q0exI/AAAAAAAAE4A/SOvU4Zgmgms/s1600/DSC07521-1.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kivkyH6slck/Tn22D3Q0exI/AAAAAAAAE4A/SOvU4Zgmgms/s400/DSC07521-1.JPG" width="292" /></a></div><br />
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<br /><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width="1" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-2165544429146191375?l%3Dcherrieland.blogspot.com" alt="" /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/bewzrYzfTyM" height="1" width="1" />]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 24 Sep 2011 07:09:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4979941</guid>
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                    <title>Day 3</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4930689</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[Arrival!!! MC picked me up from airport - very excited.<br /><br />
<br /><br />
Although as I sat in the car, the conversation brought me back to reality somewhat and by the time I was sitting by myself in Room 15 of the Washington, I was realising that I had thrown myself into a strange country with no close friends nearby and two full-time obligations to attend to. Luckily I was shattered, so I didn't have a lot of energy to brood over this and I fell asleep quite peacefully with the anticipation of seeing the lab.<div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width="1" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-7975319441750315499?l%3Dcherrieland.blogspot.com" alt="" /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/kRduKQOj44g" height="1" width="1" />]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Mon, 29 Aug 2011 06:08:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4930689</guid>
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                    <title>Try Again</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4339003</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>So I think maybe I've forgotten how to appreciate things for what they are, maybe because I'm trying so hard to improve, there's some sort of resentment or envy at things that don't change and/or I have no control over. Maybe I stopped appreciating things because I didn't feel appreciated.</p><p></p><p><b>"Try Again"</b> - <i>Under The Iron Sea</i>, Keane (2006)<br /><br />I fell asleep on a late night train<br />I missed my stop and I went round again<br />Why would I want to see you now?<br />To fix it up, make it up somehow<br /><br />Baby I'll try again, try again<br />Baby I die every night, every time<br /><br />What I was isn't what I am<br />I'd change back but I don't know if I can<br /><br />Still I'll try, try again, try again<br />Baby I die every night, every time<br /><br />But I was made the way I am<br />I'm not a stone; I'm just a man<br />Lay down your arms and I will lay down mine<br />Rip back the time that we've been wasting<br /><br />God I wish you could see me now<br />You'd pick me up and you'd sort me out<br /><br />Baby I'll try again, try again<br />Baby I die every night, every time </p><span>Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a></span><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width="1" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-826589999508983159?l%3Dcherrieland.blogspot.com" alt="" /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/Nh_AE_CvOA0" height="1" width="1" />]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 11 Sep 2010 08:09:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4339003</guid>
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                    <title>Art... Subst. Science</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4339005</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width="1" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-3883203295912979568?l%3Dcherrieland.blogspot.com" alt="" /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/Y2KfgwATlu0" height="1" width="1" />]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 11:08:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/4339005</guid>
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                    <title>If...</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/2099285</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[If I feel depressed I will sing.<br />If I feel sad I will laugh.<br />If I feel ill I will double my labour.<br />If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.<br />If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.<br />If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.<br />If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.<br />If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.<br />If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.<br />Today I will be the master of my emotions.<div><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Og_Mandino">Og Mandino</a> (American Essayist and Psychologist, 1923-1996)<br />from <a href="http://www.facebook.com/shobana.ns">Shobana</a><br /><br /><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-6590004545959380124?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/elZOJSTvSIo" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jul 2010 06:07:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/2099285</guid>
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                    <title>Always measure twice</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/2096067</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://channelate.com/2009/03/30/always-measure-twice/"><img src="http://channelate.com/comics/2009-03-30-always-measure-twice.jpg" width="600 px"/></a></p><p>From <a href="http://www.channelate.com/">ChannelAte.com</a> by Ryan Hudson.</p><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-1216210535064816729?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/0rFYg6TJPHo" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jul 2010 07:07:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/2096067</guid>
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                    <title>New Deep</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/1821965</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/Hpoes_and_Fears.jpg"></a><p><span ><b>Resolutions</b></span></p><p>Super fail at the sleep one.  I listen to the iPod less (e.g. I definitely don't listen to it on the way to work, as to let my mind "wake up").  I practised the guitar once this week, went for a run, did some stretches/push-ups, reduced FB at work (but I don't know how to block it)... I'm no longer losing weight and I am not as angry!  I think I was really pleased with one week at work with no interruptions and just some solid thinking going on...  but then last week was back to people/distractions everywhere + experiments, so I feel a little frazzled again.  I dunno.</p><p><span ><b>Keane</b></span></p><span><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/Hpoes_and_Fears.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></span><p>I other notes, I absolutely LOVE <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopes_and_Fears">"Hopes and Fears"</a> by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keane_(band)">Keane</a> (for some reason I only have 8 of the songs).  Just love it.  I can barely breathe when it's playing. :)  I especially love, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ina8bao0TU">"Somewhere Only We Know"</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfwDzFo9U_s">"Bend and Break"</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71Km7p5zuKs">"We Might As Well Be Strangers"</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hoy34c9S0Q">"Everybody's Changing"</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0idn1SpsTGo">"Sunshine"</a> (I haven't checked these vids, I hope they are OK).  I just LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  I wish I could buy stuff off <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/">Amazon UK</a>, because their albums are only 5 GBP!</p><p>I also started listening to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muse_(band)">Muse</a> and I quite like them.  I also want to try (more) of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(band)">Travis</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oasis_(band)">Oasis</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_Floyd_(band)">Pink Floyd</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiohead_(band)">Radiohead</a> and The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mars_Volta">Mars Volta</a>.  Just testing, eh?  I like pianos, guitars and... thoughtful emotions, I suppose. :)</p><span"font-size:78%;"><br /><div>Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Keane" rel="tag">Keane</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Music" rel="tag">Music</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Resolutions" rel="tag">Resolutions</a></div></span><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-7497674780891316000?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/ozVGSATL-78" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sun, 10 Jan 2010 05:01:00 -0500</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/1821965</guid>
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                    <title>Minute Choices</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/1166525</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>Ok OK. OOOKK!!!</p><p>Each moment - I will make the <i>happy</i> choice. </p><p>Even if it's the harder one.</p><p>Do it.</p><span"font-size:78%;"><br /><div>Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Happiness" rel="tag">Happiness</a></div></span><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-1727219523873636614?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/jGOCTGhKASc" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:10:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/1166525</guid>
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                    <title>Rock Hard</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/723899</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>If you're ever feeling down, rock hard like this kid:</p><p><span class="Apple-style-span"   style="  white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wgrrQwLdME8amp;hl=enamp;fs=1amp;"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wgrrQwLdME8amp;hl=enamp;fs=1amp;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Spreading+Happiness" rel="tag">Spreading Happiness</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Video" rel="tag">Video</a></div></span>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2009 06:07:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/723899</guid>
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                    <title>Bluepill Redpill</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/692817</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<div>Hmm, so last Thurs MC kindly suggested that I should <b>take a chill pill </b>at least one day per week (DC reiterates this point, as does everyone who knows me, I'm sure). Well, I'm embarrassed that I <i>still</i> have to be told this sort of thing - I'm a grown woman!!  IV thought this last phrase was hilarious... =(  </div><p>Well, I don't want to be the stresser or the sad one, or generally show any <b>weakness</b>, because history has shown that our lab does not take 'weakness' lightly.  No, in all fairness the lab is very supportive and understanding, but it's just scary to watch people drop out of a PhD or not get offered one.  <b>It's scary shit</b>.  I guess that in general, people prefer extroverted, witty, clever/skilled at many things, humble, easy-going, deep, involved, logical and compassionate types - just like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_von_Neumann">von Neumann</a>.  </p><p>I know about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_von_Neumann">von Neumann</a> from Chapter 5 of <b>"</b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Einsteins-Office-Eccentricity-Institute-Advanced/dp/0201122782"><b>Who Got Einstein's Office?</b></a><b>"</b>, which talks about people who have been through the <a href="http://www.ias.edu/">Institute of Advanced Study</a> in (not <i>of</i>) Princeton.  I read that chapter last night.  And Chapter 4 the night before, 3 the night before and 2 the night before that... Yes, you're quite right, I was offered this book at the meeting with MC.  I can look at brief biographies of people like von Neumann in three main ways: (1) a goal I can never attain; (2) <b>a goal</b>; (3) a goal I used to achieve.  Depends on the day, I guess.</p><p>Chapter 4 was about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fractal">fractals</a> (<a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com/2009/01/how-hot-is-this.html">see also</a>) and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Set_theory">set theory</a>.  I am fascinated by fractals, simply because I don't really understand them and I cannot imagine these extra dimensions in my mind.  In fact, I couldn't get to sleep because I was probably thinking about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcendental_number">transcendental numbers</a> and I couldn't stay asleep for very long so I could look them up online in the morning. I hate that. <b>The subconscious OCD-ness, despite conscious self-discipline... most of the time.</b></p><p>Chapter 1 was boring - about the Institute's beginnings and Flexnor, the guy who visioned and ran it for a while.  Chapter 2 was on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_einstein">Einstein</a> I think and it was disappointingly scarce on detail. <b>3 was on </b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_godel"><b>Godel</b></a><b> and I found it sad that he thought he had not given enough to the Institute, the world, nor God.</b>  The writer goes on tangents sometimes, it's a bit weird and ever so slightly annoying.</p><p>Well, since Chapter 4 (and installing bloody CS3, which took 5x more time than what I allocated) gave me only 3.5 hours of sleep on Sun night, I think all of the new information from various people in my life was <b>teetering me like a </b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenga"><b>Jenga tower</b></a> and I got horrendously upset last night and in fact, this morning. Don't get me wrong, I feel privileged to be in the know, but I guess there are many things to think about now and my brain bled some tears.  It's also why I'm not talking to people, because <b>there's a traffic jam into the Broca's</b>. Hm... I know I don't have any control over the family worries, but at least I can offer my ears and money. I guess.</p><p>Well, I made a <b>worry pie</b>.  I won't make a happy pie, simply because too many things make me happy and I'm easily amused, anyway.  It's sort of funny that IJ's worry is over whether or not he <i>wants</i> to stay in science, moreso than whether or not he has the ability to do well, whereas <b>I am definitely the other way around</b>.</p><div><span><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/Si5FN_-vd6I/AAAAAAAAD9Y/7mB0JzUpJng/s400/worrypie.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></span></div><p><span ></span></p><span><span>12 months from now, 7 people in my life are expected to no longer be in "reachable" distance. Well, why not.</span></span><span"font-size:78%;"><span><span></span></span><div></div><span><span><br /></span></span><br /><div>Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Book" rel="tag">Book</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/PhD" rel="tag">PhD</a></div></span><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='http://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-7327210769929300120?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/HxC6Z56voXM" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:06:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/692817</guid>
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                    <title>Microsoft Regional Innovative Students' Forum 2009</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/685417</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://www.rhapsodyconcept.com.sg/website/ms/ritc/Index.asp?"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px;" src="https://www.rhapsodyconcept.com.sg/website/ms/ritc/images%5Cmasthead.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />
</span><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:130%;"></span></span>It's over, it's over. :(<br />
Luckily, I still have my reflections before I pop this bubble<br />
and breathe reality's air again.<span style="font-size:130%;"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:130%;"></span></span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" >Disclaimer: ~ 5 hrs sleep for ~ 7 consecutive nights didn't lend to <span style="font-style: italic;">real-time</span> blogging, as I intended.  But you know I'm more of a <span style="font-style: italic;">retro</span>-blogger... Anyway, you have been warned: (1) This is long; (2) I am crazy; (3) Pick and mix - the bits you skip won't cry - I promise; (4) the Boxes are tangents.  Hell, I feel like a tangent at times. :P</span><br />
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >BACKGROUND</span><br />
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUBWiLrDgI/AAAAAAAAD8o/U3qEUixIDnQ/s1600-h/DSC04629.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUBWiLrDgI/AAAAAAAAD8o/U3qEUixIDnQ/s200/DSC04629.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342678019589475842" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">This was the <a href="https://www.rhapsodyconcept.com.sg/website/ms/ritc/Index.asp?">5th Asia-Pacific Microsoft Regional Innovative Teachers’ Conference</a>, with participants from</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://newzealand.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on">New Zealand</st1:country-region></a>, <a href="http://philippines.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on">Philippines</st1:country-region></a>, <a href="http://japan.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on"></st1:country-region></a><a href="http://southkorea.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on">Korea</st1:country-region></a>, <a href="http://vietnam.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on">Vietnam</st1:country-region></a>, <a href="http://singapore.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region></a>, <a href="http://indonesia.takingitglobal.org/"><st1:country-region st="on">Indonesia</st1:country-region></a> and <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on"><a href="http://malaysia.takingitglobal.org/">Malaysia</a>, to name a few</st1:place></st1:country-region>.  It was sponsored by</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.microsoft.com/">Microsoft Corporation</a>, with support from the <a href="http://www.moe.gov.my/tayang.php?laman=halatuju_pendidikanbhs=en">Ministry of Education Malaysia</a>, <a href="http://www.unesco.org/">UNESCO</a> and <a href="http://www.takingitglobal.org/">TakingITGlobal.org</a> (TIG), to </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >bring together teachers from Asia-Pacific to showcase innovative approaches to teaching that involve technology</span><span style="font-size:85%;">.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">The teacher attendees were chosen within their own countries as the best (don't ask me about this process, I don't know) and presented posters</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">throughout the short Teachers' Forum (2 days) to each other and to a panel of judges who graded using the following criteria: l</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >evel of innovation, effect on student participation and involvement, extent of student autonomy, relevant use of technology, in the context of available resources (e.g. funds, equipment, skill and connectivity)</span><span style="font-size:85%;">.  One winner from each country will have the privilege of competing at the global Teachers’ Forum in Brazil in November.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">This year is the first time that <a href="https://www.rhapsodyconcept.com.sg/website/ms/ritc/Index.asp?PGID=PAGE_FORUM"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Student Voices</span></a> have been present at this region’s forum.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Though it may seem like an obvious idea, its acceptance requires a leap from many educators, particularly in areas where education is still highly disciplinary and learning is assumed with teaching.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">TIG played a key role in finding and engaging students who would best represent the student body of the Asia-Pacific region.  Students were invited to participate in <a href="http://discuss.tigweb.org/9613">online discussions</a> over a period of ~ 3 weeks to discuss the </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >state of education</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> in their countries, as well as </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >ideas about what the ideal or the future of education may look like </span><span style="font-size:85%;">(cf. <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com/2005/07/retrospective.html">Student Voices 2005</a><sup>1</sup>).</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">15 students were chosen to attend a </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >‘Student Forum’ (ISF09)</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> that occurred alongside and at the same venue (<a href="http://www.starwoodhotels.com/lemeridien/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=1840">Le Meridien</a>) as the Teachers' Forum, </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >immersing</span> the students in<span style="font-size:85%;"> ~ 4 days of</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" > intense development and voice.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">THE ISF09 PROGRAMME</span></span> included:<br />
</p><ul><li><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;">discussion with local students about education</span>: 57 students from a local KL school (who had to write an exam immediately following the meeting!) met with the student delegates and answered questions about education in groups for about 2 hours - <span style="font-style: italic;">I thought this was a good idea, at least to get more students thinking about their education and for them to know that this sort of work goes on "behind the scenes"</span><br />
</span></li><li><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">brainstorming workshop by <a href="http://profiles.tigweb.org/bernise">Bernise Ang</a> and <a href="http://profiles.tigweb.org/shaunkoh">Shaun Koh</a> of <a href="http://www.syinc.org/">Syinc.org</a>:</span> a session to help the students think more deeply about issues surrounding education and what they can do to help inspire change - <span style="font-style: italic;">I thought this was timely, especially since all of the student delegates had already talked a lot about their ideas online and it was a great time to explore them a bit more deeply and to think about their ideas in more realistic terms</span><br />
</span></li><li><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">presentation by </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://joelneoh.com/">Joel Neoh</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> on entrepreneurship:</span> he shares his experiences and thoughts after winning Malaysia's version of The Apprentice, 'The Firm', modelling and co-founding <a href="http://youthsays.com/">YouthSays.com</a>, Malaysia's largest for-profit network of youth opinion - sort of like what 18tracker was, bu obviously better model since they have a larger contact base and also hold real events to retain and attract new members) <span style="font-style: italic;">- I think his "for-profit" model turned a lot of the students off, but nevertheless I thought it was very clever of him to harness the power of a contact list - he is obviously a very resourceful person and pragmatic about what he wants.</span><br />
</span></li><li><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">presentation and personal help by <a href="http://www.liaison-combination.com/tlc_people.html">Brian Lariche</a> on project management: </span>Brian shares his experiences as a teacher/tutor, working with NGOs and life in general!  He generously gave up his time to come back and give priceless one-on-one advice and support to the students' projects - <span style="font-style: italic;">Brian is a very interesting person, who is generous with his time and opinions - I would have liked to battle some of the topics that were raisedt if I had not felt that I might have overshadowed the students' opportunity.</span><br />
</span></span></li><li><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">student projects: </span>students were given time and mentorship to brainstorm and present their ideas for improving an aspect of education through use of technology.  The aim was to submit these projects for a chance to receive funding from a pool of <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">USD5000</span>, provided by Microsoft.  These 'Micro-Grants' are intended to give the students a taste of what it takes to develop, plan and execute projects on a small scale and more importantly, provides an opportunity for their models to be tested before application for further funding and expansion<span style="font-weight: bold;">.  </span>On top of this prize pool, there was also the opportunity to win free enrolment into TIG's e-course <a style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;" href="http://sprout.tigweb.org/">'Sprout'</a>  for youth professional development - <span style="font-style: italic;">I think these projects were the most enjoyable part of the forum for the students - they felt like they were contributing something.  However, with perspective, these will just be small stepping stones and I hope the students will remember lessons from side-conversations in years to come, as I will, no doubt.</span><br />
</span></span></li><li><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">student-teacher interaction: </span>a formal session for students to address teachers was provided, as well as informal gatherings during poster presentations and breaks -<span style="font-style: italic;"> to be frank, I don't think there was enough opportunity for the students and teachers to talk.  Even at the Gala Dinner, I felt that the student presence was being side-lined.  However, I realise that this is the first time students has been at this forum and I think it was a good first effort.  Hopefully, it will continue to grow in creative ways in the future.</span><br />
</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">mentors and TIG staff: </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:85%;">t</span><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:85%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">o help enable Student Voices on the ground, </span><a href="http://profiles.tigweb.org/mfurdyk"><span class="Apple-style-span">Michael Furdyk</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"> (co-founder and Director of Technology of TIG), </span><a href="http://profiles.tigweb.org/kagawa"><span class="Apple-style-span">Kat Walraven</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"> (Education Program Manager, TIG), along with 3 mentors, </span><a href="http://profiles.tigweb.org/bernise"><span class="Apple-style-span">Bernise Ang</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span">, </span><a href="http://profiles.tigweb.org/shaunkoh"><span class="Apple-style-span">Shaun Koh</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"> and I basically tailed the students at every waking hour. :P Although the 3 mentors were initially designated 3 groups of students, I found that we all got along so well, it was basically one big happy group - <span style="font-style: italic;">I very much enjoyed observing and learning from this interesting group of people, with amazing skills and ideas.  I only wish that I had more time with each of them to talk about our thoughts and experiences!!!  I think at this age, it is difficult to find people who you connect with because everyone is moving in their own directions so rapidly.  I thought we all got along extremely well. </span> </span></span></li></ul>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:small;"> </span></o:p></span></p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:x-large;"><br />
</span></span></p><br />
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS</span></span><br />
</p>  <br />
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:130%;">Projects and Hope</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>  <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:130%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;">In my opinion, the one theme that resonates with all of the student project ideas is <span style="font-weight: bold;">equality</span>.<span style="">  </span>The students wanted others to receive the same opportunities they had/have, regardless of their <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">socio-economic status</span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">locality</span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">teacher/school system</span> or <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">temporal-residency</span>.<span style="">  </span>I made this last term up to describe some students’ focus on sustainable development and ecological preservation, which in essence ensures that future generations have the same opportunities as we do.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Observing young people of diverse background/opportunity share a unified desire for equality makes me think about all of the families, teachers and communities that are successfully teaching (instructing and demonstrating) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >compassion</span><span style="font-size:85%;">.  I think that the ability to place ourselves in others' shoes is a fundamental ingredient in achieving sustainability.  However, teaching compassion is not easy, particularly when basic selfishness is confused with greed, and when young people are difficult to reach.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I imagine thin golden threads wavering from a small child’s inner eye, attracted to and caught by larger threads that are coloured and tarnished from experience. Each cable can spark a connection that transfers love, understanding and knowledge.  Together, all of the cables caress and shape this child's potential.  However, the ability to spark is contextual and each community needs to establish and understand its own values and find its own way in engaging its youth and citizens.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Without this, no community or society has a positive future (Box 1).</span><br />
</p><hr /><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:78%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Box 1:<br />
</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:78%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Building Communities</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:78%;">Of course, not only are cultural behaviours important, societies must also reconsider its behaviours that are biologically suicidal.  For example, if we continue to pummel through our limited resources, then we are essentially killing our chances of survival.   I don't really want to go into all of the arguments about 'climate change', but I think the basic idea of sustainable development makes sense.  See, perhaps, Jared Diamond's </span><span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/books/chap1/collapse.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span">Collapse: How Societies Choose To Fail Or Succeed</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:78%;">.  I have yet to read this, but have heard Diamond talk about it when he visited the <a href="http://www.auckland.ac.nz/">University of Auckland</a> a few years ago.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Society is More than The Sum of the Individuals</span></span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;">  </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:78%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;">  </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUJ9V_iwCI/AAAAAAAAD8w/qPewtojv6Hg/s1600-h/DSC04779.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 209px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUJ9V_iwCI/AAAAAAAAD8w/qPewtojv6Hg/s320/DSC04779.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342687482425294882" border="0" /></a>I was staring at the night-scape of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kuala   Lumpur</st1:place></st1:city>, marvelling at the lights when</span><span style="font-size:78%;">  </span><span style="font-size:78%;">I suddenly saw that we <span style="font-style: italic;">can</span> solve everything by understanding each other, so that we are able to unite our individual efforts.  The problem is engagement and one can only spark passion in others by first understanding the way they view the world.</span><span style="font-size:78%;">   For example, it would be ideal to reduce the number of city lights turned on at night to reduce power consumption.  However, lighting is considered important for safety (though the validity of this is disputed in some places), so basically, </span><span style="font-size:78%;">we need to reduce crime.  To stop raising criminals, we need equal distribution of resources and responsible communities that work to raise children together.  We need more holistic/inclusive thinking/planning, for example, using ramps instead of short escalators, adjustable thermostats, smarter water cycling.  The narrow thinking evident in various facets of society may be a result of an education system where the world is arbitrarily segregated and consumed in a well-pre-processed manner.  Where are our integrators? <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com/search?q=life+as+a+lens"> Where are our high NA lenses with large fields of view</a>?</span><br />
</p><hr />  <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;">Youth</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUAYFTojUI/AAAAAAAAD8Y/Z2jGqEX-R_c/s1600-h/_DSC0772-A.jpg"><br />
</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUAlf7BUWI/AAAAAAAAD8g/eg-xML1btl4/s1600-h/_DSC0772-A.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiUAlf7BUWI/AAAAAAAAD8g/eg-xML1btl4/s320/_DSC0772-A.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342677177169170786" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">I have learned a lot from each individual of our 20-strong crew.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Every person was interesting, with their own </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >talents</span><span style="font-size:85%;">,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" > idiosyncracies</span><span style="font-size:85%;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >ways of thinking</span><span style="font-size:85%;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >stories</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >passions</span><span style="font-size:85%;">.  I think one characteristic that defines youthfulness is </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >agility</span><span style="font-size:85%;">.  They are </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >open-minded</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >open-hearted</span><span style="font-size:85%;">. They are </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >eager to learn</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >unafraid to be optimistic</span><span style="font-size:85%;">. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I enjoyed observing: their </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >faces light up</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> at the chance to talk about their passions, at the making of new friends, at the seeding and germination of new ideas; their </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >features break into smiles and laughter</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> at wit, irony and fun; their </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >eyebrows furrow</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> at difficult concepts, tight deadlines and lack of sleep.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">  </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I watched the TIG team work: listening to the students and offering insightful/motivating suggestions and stories when necessary, while I tried to do the same.  I was inspired by everyone’s dedication and rapid connection with each other - </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >TIG continues to catalyse precipitation of like-minded youths.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> =P<br />
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">My </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >favourite moments</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> were the one-on-one conversations. I hope I imparted some useful "wisdom", but at the same time clear that I am learning, too -  I don't claim to know everything, if anything!  If only I had more time to get to know everyone and learn about their stories and ideas, not just about education.<br />
</span></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">"Night,<br />
Field of stars above us.<br />
You pick one, we frame it with our fingers intertwined.<br />
Seeds, of every generation, between our hands and<br />
I promise to teach you the little I have learned,<br />
So far..."</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" ><br />
</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >Seeds, <span>Brooke Fraser</span></span><br />
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I am so excited about what these young people may experience. Many of them are moving through school and entering college and  indeed, the world, with a lot of hope.  They will face challenges and disappointments and I would like to be a source of support and friendship, if they will let me.  But already, I feel that this experience has been a privilege, for I am young, too.  I am excited about my future, too.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><hr /><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;">Box 2:</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">West Vs. East</span></span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:78%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;">There may be an interesting and not necessarily sharp contrast between students schooled in Eastern and Western countries.</span><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span><span style="font-size:78%;">Of course, this is not surprising if you listen to stereotypes, but it <span style="font-style: italic;">should</span> surprising if you consider that most, if not all, of the education systems and curricula in South-East Asia are based on Western (e.g. <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Cambridge</st1:city></st1:place>) systems. This leads me to yet another rant about community values (Box 1), where the culture of school and wider communities (including upbringing), more than the school system itself, shapes a child's attitudes towards formal education. No doubt, the lack of formal credit towards non-academic endeavours will also play a role in student motivation, but this are also reflect community values.  <span style="font-weight: bold;">I am always ranting about values, simply because I don't think many people know what their own are and why.</span></span><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;">As a group,</span><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span><span style="font-size:78%;">I was impressed with their diligence, aptitude and dedication in listening and completing tasks to a high standard. But they also giggled and whispered during boring presentations and you knew when they lost respect for someone. I would really like to dispel the myth that all Asian students possess an academic advantage. In all of the students that perform well, I think the common theme is that education is held in high esteem. They have been taught that only a sound education will allow them to get ahead, get out of poverty, realise their dreams, in life. Not just a pass or a piece of paper, but a </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:78%;" >good</span><span style="font-size:78%;"> education.  It is not just the family unit either, it is the entire nation - yes, I am actually saying that NZ does not value intellect as a nation.  It doesn't.  It seems like even intellectual people put themselves down or try to prove themselves by excelling in a lot of other areas.  Do the same pressures fall on sports people?  I think the tell-tale sign is to ask children what they think are cool or worthwhile - they are the values of that society, hmm?<br />
</span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"> <span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:78%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Honesty</span></span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span></p>  <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:78%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;">Most of the teachers and students at these conferences have English as their second language.</span><span style="font-size:78%;">  </span><span style="font-size:78%;">Though it is a barrier for participation, I think it enables honesty.  I guess it is a balance between being able to express yourself and being able to spin your expression. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I am profoundly attracted to honesty.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
</span></p><hr /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Teachers and Students</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:85%;">Students wanted their teachers to listen to them and respect their questions and suggestions.  Students wanted mentors, not instructors - guided autonomy? Students liked teachers who are able to admit their mistakes/weakneses and try to improve them.  Most students already have information at their fingertips - they need help digesting it.  Students have lots of ideas - they need help formulating it against existing knowledge and presenting it in a logical manner.</span><br />
<p><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><br />
OTHER 'FIRSTS' AND NOTES</span></span><br />
</p><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">La<br />
</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />
Malaysians and Singaporeans end their sentences with 'la', a lot.  It is interesting as a rapport-creating rhetorical device, blah blah blah - but you know what is MORE interesting about it?  It is the perfect platform to launch into song, e.g. "Don't worry, la... la la la la la la....l-l-l-l-la x 2.... LA..LA..LA...heee taught me hooooow toooo waaash...." (Oh Happy Day, Sister Act)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:large;">Icecream Teppanyaki<br />
<br />
</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;">Icecream + toppings + chopping = good, nutritious meal. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOe9f8xXk6s">Video here</a> (2x speed).<br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:large;"><br />
</span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT_x22CreI/AAAAAAAAD8Q/QtHV6Z27jz0/s1600-h/DSC04646.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT_x22CreI/AAAAAAAAD8Q/QtHV6Z27jz0/s200/DSC04646.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342676289969106402" border="0" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:large;"><br />
Fish on Feet</span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_fish">Dr. Fish</a> were in the house (Central Markets) and for</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">NZD2.5, they entertained me for 10 mins.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I think they enjoyed it, too (see image - that is one content fish). <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZJ1PM2eQJY">YouTube video (warning: squealing)</a>.</span><br />
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZJ1PM2eQJY"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 106px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT7AlL-4oI/AAAAAAAAD7w/2O7JRZQilpk/s200/drfish.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342671045369193090" border="0" /></a></p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-size:large;"><br />
</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Serama</span></span><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >- Smallest Chickens in the World</span><br />
</p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;">A <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serama">tiny chicken</a>, it's true!  OK, at first I was sad (because they had strange posture and vocals, see </span><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul7qnGvLzs0">video</a></span><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;">), but they are a naturally-occurring species, which means they are less likely to have problems associated with breeding (e.g. pure-bred dogs).</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul7qnGvLzs0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT8SzAe9II/AAAAAAAAD74/m1T6m-bWCVU/s200/serama.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342672457828332674" border="0" /></a></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;">Batik Painting</span></p><span style="font-size:85%;">(1) Pencil; (2) wax; (3) water-colour; (4) remove wax. Stoked I got to try it. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Trying is always a win.</span></span><br />
<br />
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT86Ea5OrI/AAAAAAAAD8A/Bfx3nhbObW8/s1600-h/batik.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 182px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT86Ea5OrI/AAAAAAAAD8A/Bfx3nhbObW8/s200/batik.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342673132517407410" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />
Movies On Planes</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></p>  <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <ul><li><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Last Chance </span><st1:city style="font-style: italic;" st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Harvey</span>:</st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>bad script + good actors = still bad movie.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span  lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Curious Case of Benjamin Button</span>: interesting idea - creativity = moving Brad Pitt gallery = still boring.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0277027/"><span style="font-style: italic;">I Am Sam</span></a>: interesting story + great acting (except Michelle Pfeiffer's dramatic scene) = balling eyes out on the plane = good.  <span style="font-weight: bold;">Being moved is always a win.</span></span><span style="">  </span><o:p></o:p></span></li></ul>      <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>  <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Flying</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:85%;">Saw another plane flying by while in our Boeing...  first time EVER!!! Wow, it was so fast - I knew but never grasped visually how fast it was until now. And for the first time, I noticed our plane's shadow and enjoyed watching us meeting it on the ground and seeing how fast our land speed was (ignoring the movement of the sun and our approach to the ground, etc.). Image shows tail of the other plane (bright streak) - I was too slow to capture the plane itself - and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juRtSW-lOi8">video shows the shadow</a>.<br />
</span><br />
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juRtSW-lOi8"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2YHl26D-n84/SiT-NkI7U9I/AAAAAAAAD8I/3oTWSQca62E/s200/planetail.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342674566961124306" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />
Things in a Box/Game of Things</span><br />
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Great game that we played after a night at the pool.  Great introduction by Kat! Will remember for the future.  Also thought of a PostSecret game we could have played.  Oh well, next time.</span><br />
</p><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >The Circle</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:85%;">So at the <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com/2009/05/bound-for-kuala-lumpur.html">beginning of this trip</a>, I was pondering about the self.  I think Brian Lariche sums it up very well:</span><br />
</span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><blockquote style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself. Character is a by-product, and any man who devotes himself to its cultivation in his own case will become a selfish person.</blockquote></span></div><span style="font-size:130%;">I suppose things like this are supposed to be transient.  The precipitate is created and then shaken into solution again to maximise the surface area for reaction.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : </span><span style="font-size:78%;"> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Education" rel="tag">Education</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ICT" rel="tag">ICT</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ISF09" rel="tag">ISF09</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Kuala+Lumpur" rel="tag">Kuala Lumpur</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Student+Voices" rel="tag">Student Voices</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Youth" rel="tag">Youth</a></span></div></span>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Mon, 01 Jun 2009 08:06:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/685417</guid>
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                <item> 
                    <title>Bound for Kuala Lumpur</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/684549</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<span"font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" ></span><span>10:30 Pacific Time 26.05.09 Auckland Airport</span><br /><br />I am waiting for my 12:50 flight and thinking about what I need to be to be a<span> good mentor </span>for <a href="https://www.rhapsodyconcept.com.sg/website/ms/ritc/Index.asp?PGID=PAGE_FORUM">Student Voices</a> and person in general.<br /><br />I need to listen.<br /><br />I need to be more intellectually and emotionally <span>flexible</span> so that I can <span>live more in the moment </span>(i.e. be <span>available</span>)<span>.</span> I need to move from quick understanding (passive) to quick debating (active).  I need to be emotional agility to better respond to others. That is, discard any emotional baggage, so that I am not living in my head, so that I can look people in the eye and receive a compliment, notice and respond when somebody needs me and listen to and consider criticism to ask questions right there.<br /><br />I’ve slowly come to realise that this availability is required for me to understand where I stand with people.  That is, if I gauge the meaning of a relationship on an absolute scale, I will fall short of a correct measurement.  I need to compare how people treat me versus how they treat others to gauge how they regard me, if not at a similar time (best comparison), then over a longer observation period to try remove the confounding day-to-day variation.   In other words, I need to consider my relationships with people (simplistically 3 entities: me, the other and the connection) in a context of a network.  That is, whatever they feel towards me has to be viewed simultaneously with their other connections, because they are constantly being pulled in those other directions.<br /><br />I say this because I worry a lot about what others’ (whom I respect) think of me, but have little idea, because I am good at explaining away any positive signs of respect or affection.  <span>And with this sort of "weakness" in mind, I want to formulate a way to examine the world for feedback without imposing my need and without becoming self-centered or naive about the idea of self-improvement.</span><br /><br />I can't wait to meet these students. I can't wait to meet the other mentors and the 'new' TIG Education programme manager and I can't wait to see Mike again!  I worry about my relevance.  I worry about my social skills, given my current passion/obsession is not really a topic that anybody else has an interest in.  But - get on with it!<span> Just do it!</span><br /><br /><span"font-size:78%;"><br /></span><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags :</span><span"font-size:78%;"> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Education" rel="tag">Education</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ICT" rel="tag">ICT</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ISF09" rel="tag">ISF09</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Kuala+Lumpur" rel="tag">Kuala Lumpur</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Student+Voices" rel="tag">Student Voices</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Youth" rel="tag">Youth</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='http://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-1158315324574245841?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/vnOxXZCFBNU" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Mon, 25 May 2009 06:05:00 -0400</pubDate> 
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                    <title>New Country, New Segment</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/678781</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p><span"font-size:130%;">The Country Thing</span></p><p>Am going to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia in just over 4 hours. The flight will cover ~ 8713 km in ~ 12.5 hours <sup>1</sup>.  I am going for the Microsoft Regional Innovation Teachers' Conference 2009 <a href="http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23isf09">(Twitter #isf09</a>) with MF and other <a href="http://www.takingitglobal.org/">TakingITGlobal.org</a> members - I should probably try to remember that before I get there.  I'm excited, but nervous!!! More about that later if I have time.  I have spent too much time doing data analysis as opposed to preparing for this. Still - 12.5 hrs left to prepare...</p><p><span"font-size:130%;">The Segment Thing</span></p><p>Maybe I will try record at least one interesting and/or entertaining conversation from each day, along with one photograph/video depending on how good the internet is.<br /></p><br /><div><span"font-size:78%;">1 http://flights.idealo.co.uk/route/Auckland-AKL/Kuala-Lumpur-KUL/</span><br /><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>,  <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Conference" rel="tag">Conference</a>,  <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Kuala+Lumpur" rel="tag">Kuala Lumpur</a>,  <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/isf09" rel="tag">#isf09</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='http://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-6865185513097084334?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/V2AIhJO14r4" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Mon, 25 May 2009 04:05:00 -0400</pubDate> 
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                    <title>An Oyster Doesn't Know It's Creating Pearls From A Grain of Sand</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/666955</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>Is waiting for questions that will allow me to view my life in new light.<br />
</p><p>In other notable and possibly related news,</p><p>"So... have you got a <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">boyfriend</span>, yet?" - YKJ, at AM's dinner.<br />
</p><p>Me + boyfriend? Isn't that one of the signs of the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">apocalypse</span>? </p>But god I almost had a heart attack from the mixture of emotions:<br />
<ol><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">shock </span>at her blunt approach</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">embarrassment</span> at the audience<br />
</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">shame</span> at my innocence<br />
</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">relief</span> that finally someone has brought up one of my major torments that I think needs to be talked through<br />
</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">fear</span> that if we started talking about it, I would just break down and resulting 2) and 3)<br />
</li></ol>But in the end, I just muttered a quiet "no," and that was that.<br />
<br />
But hey, it's OK.  I wasn't <span style="font-style: italic;">born</span>, I was <span style="font-style: italic;">made</span> a robot.<br />
<br />
<strike>Yes I am aware there are multiple interpretations of that sentence.</strike> Correction, PJC just told me about Cherry 2000. Ew!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Article: <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200906/happiness">What Makes Us Happy?</a></span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Thoughtlet" rel="tag">Thoughtlet</a></span></div>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Wed, 13 May 2009 04:05:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/666955</guid>
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                    <title>An Oyster Doesn't Know It's Creating Pearls From Grains of Sand</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/686613</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>Is waiting for questions that will allow me to view my life in new light.<br /></p><p>In other notable and possibly related news,</p><p>"So... have you got a <span>boyfriend</span>, yet?" - YKJ, at AM's dinner.<br /></p><p>Me + boyfriend? Isn't that one of the signs of the <span>apocalypse</span>? </p>But god I almost had a heart attack from the mixture of emotions:<br /><ol><li><span>shock </span>at her blunt approach</li><li><span>embarrassment</span> at the audience<br /></li><li><span>shame</span> at my innocence<br /></li><li><span>relief</span> that finally someone has brought up one of my major torments that I think needs to be talked through<br /></li><li><span>fear</span> that if we started talking about it, I would just break down and resulting 2) and 3)<br /></li></ol>But in the end, I just muttered a quiet "no," and that was that.<br /><br />But hey, it's OK.  I wasn't <span>born</span>, I was <span>made</span> a robot.<br /><br /><strike>Yes I am aware there are multiple interpretations of that sentence.</strike> Correction, PJC just told me about Cherry 2000. Ew!<br /><br /><div><span"font-size:85%;">Article: <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200906/happiness">What Makes Us Happy?</a></span><br /></div><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Thoughtlet" rel="tag">Thoughtlet</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='http://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7903016-6322657019654909343?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/sqnAcGRYZ4c" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Wed, 13 May 2009 04:05:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/686613</guid>
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                    <title>People Are Sad! :(</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/661255</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>There are people around me who are sad/stressed.</p><p>Are you?<br />
</p><p>This is the point where I wish it was OK to hug you without it being weird.<br />
</p><p>But in the mean time, I can listen and try to make you feel better.   I'm good at it!   I guess you have to ask my conf... what do you call people confiding to a confidant? ... In all honesty, it's a relative thing. :P<br />
</p>But - it'll be OK!<br />
<br />
Hope this makes you smile, like it made me smile:<br />
<br />
<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Abt8aAB-Dr0amp;hl=enamp;fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Abt8aAB-Dr0amp;hl=enamp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br />
<br />
But it sort of just occurred to me that while I consider that many of my bad feelings can be alleviated with a hug, it might be the same for other people, too! I always sort of assumed that other people only got bothered with <span style="font-style: italic;">real</span> problems, whose resultant bad feelings cannot be alleviated with a hug.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Spreading+Happiness" rel="tag">Spreading Happiness</a></span></div>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Fri, 08 May 2009 06:05:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/661255</guid>
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                    <title>This Is About Trust</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/658521</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p><b>The End of the World</b></p><br />
<p>OK, I watched <a href="http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/09/09" target="_blank">Large Impact Simulation</a> (1) and you know how I reacted? I thought, no, I <i>felt</i> that if the world is to be destroyed tomorrow, _<span style="font-style: italic;">we_</span> will be together.  The strength of this feeling was such that I am <span style="font-style: italic;">still</span> in shock and I can retrieve it at any time.  But <span style="font-style: italic;">_we_</span> don't and cannot exist.  Maybe I just want to  someone <span style="font-style: italic;">trust like that</span>.  Maybe I want to be bold and <span style="font-style: italic;">take what I want like that</span>.</p><br />
<p><b>Power Trips</b></p><br />
<p>I really refuse to participate in the power games that some people seem to play.  It's not about dominance at all - it's about <span style="font-style: italic;">trust</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">being comfortable with yourself</span>, isn't it? Or should I learn to play the game, too?</p><br />
<p><b>Evidence that Effort Influences Outcome<br />
</b></p><br />
<p>Danny MacAskill shows in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o" target="_blank">Inspired Bicycles</a> (2) that determination can bring about stunning results.  Further, he shows he can innovate while respecting current norms.</p><p>This is motivating, because a lot of the time I feel as if no amount of effort can make up for my deficiencies in characteristics necessary to a good academic (problem-solving, networking information, perseverance, teaching, people management) or to handle 'politics' or withstand inevitable betrayal of my trust (diplomacy, cleverness, boldness, strength).</p><p style="font-weight: bold;">Other Questions</p><ol><li>Surely, I don't deserve the wonderful friends and family I have? =)<br />
</li><li>Do PhD students really think the world revolves around them? Am I like that? =(<br />
</li><li>Do women really claim men and leave them for dead once they have them? I wouldn't do that, right? When men and women degrade each other, it's only in humour, right? They really love each other, right? =(<br />
</li></ol><p><b>Song of the Post</b><br />
<br />
Your Body Is A Wonderland<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">John Mayer</span><br />
<br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WYA6KVf5tR0hl=enfs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WYA6KVf5tR0hl=enfs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<br />
</p><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:85%;">(1) Recommendation by KV<br />
(2) From <a href="http://www.zefrank.com/">Ze Frank</a></span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Death" rel="tag">Death</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Love" rel="tag">Love</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/PhD" rel="tag">PhD</a></span></div>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Wed, 06 May 2009 07:05:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/658521</guid>
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                    <title>A Quickie</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/652589</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[Hey all.  Still alive, yes, yes. CQ Reunion at Auckland Zoo on the weekend. Spent a solid 3 -4 hours painting people's faces.  Loved studying their contours and applying colour.  Loved asking the kids what they wanted to be and <span style="font-weight: bold;">enabling</span> it.  Love playing with kids.  Loved seeing AP, who is turning 12 next month.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">I turned 23</span> today. So much gratitude for my friends and family.  So many kind words from far and wide, from unexpected corners.  Thank you so so so much.  Every word, every action, every smile and hug.  Everything.  So much impact on me right now.  I needed this right now. I only hope I can be a source of light, too.<br />
<br />
Found this a couple of weeks ago when answering a questionnaire about the quality of PhD supervision.  It asked me how confident I was in the items below:<br />
<ul><li>Train and supervise research assistants</li><li>Perform research procedures to collect data</li><li>Identify and report limitations of a study</li><li>Attend to all relevant details of data collection</li><li>Effectively edit your writing to make it logical and succinct</li><li>Analyze research data</li><li>Synthesize results with regard to current literature<br />
</li><li>Write method and results section for a research article or similar publication<br />
</li><li>Ensure data collection is reliable across trial, raters and/or equipment<br />
</li><li>Effectively write a research article or similar publication on your own<br />
</li><li>Organize your proposed research ideas in writing<br />
</li><li>Write an introduction and literature review for a research article or similar publication<br />
</li><li>Choose appropriate data analysis techniques<br />
</li><li>Identify implications for future research<br />
</li><li>Incorporate feedback to improve your research design or write-up<br />
</li><li>Develop a logical rationale for your research idea<br />
</li><li>Generate researchable questions<br />
</li><li>Interpret and understand data analyses<br />
</li><li>Synthesize current literature<br />
</li><li>Choose an appropriate research design<br />
</li><li>Identify areas of needed research, based on reading the literature<br />
</li><li>Utilize criticism from reviews of your ideas<br />
</li><li>Write a discussion section for a research article or similar publication<br />
</li><li>Obtain approval to pursue research (e.g., approval from appropriate Ethics Committee)</li></ul>Holy fudging crap cakes.  But damn that's me in the intermediate-future.  I hope.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, V addiction is creeping up on me. So, none of that tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Songs of late: Something's Missing and Split Screen Sadness.  Both by John Mayer:<br />
<br />
<p><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cPQa5IjGOgQhl=enfs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cPQa5IjGOgQhl=enfs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p><br />
<br />
<p><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NCxtHCV0N-Mhl=enfs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NCxtHCV0N-Mhl=enfs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p><br />
<br />
Eurgh I can't check their quality for you, because Telecom is being a floater.<br />
<span style="font-size:78%;"><br />
</span><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a></span></div>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Wed, 29 Apr 2009 05:04:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/652589</guid>
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                    <title>If Could Be Wrong, I Could Be Ready</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/640543</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>I've been listening a lot to <a href="http://www.myspace.com/coldplay">Coldplay</a> and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/johnmayer">John Mayer</a> lately.  I like listening to people talk about things they care about, I suppose that's why I like listening to songwriters sing their songs*.  It's the same and almost guarantees honesty.</p><p><span>In Repair</span><br /><span>John Mayer</span><br /></p><p><span>Bigger Than My Body</span><span><br />John Mayer</span><br /></p><p>I know I enjoy the present, I don't want to go back to the past - I'm just seeking confidence. I am finding signs that people believe in my abilities, e.g. if they are willing to have open-minded, informative discussions with me about controversial topics and if they are willing to talk to me and seek advice. I may not have all the solutions, especially regarding serious issues like schizophrenia and abuse, but I'll do my best and what I think is most appropriate.</p><p>I am reminded to be grateful that these two issues are not closer than they already are.<br /></p><br /><div><span"font-size:78%;">*also art and composers, etc.</span><br /></div><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Coldplay" rel="tag">Coldplay</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/John+Mayer" rel="tag">John Mayer</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='http://res1.blogblog.com/tracker/7903016-8404771812146389965?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/JDaSg1nbyp4" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:04:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/640543</guid>
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                    <title>A PhD Is Not A Gold Standard</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/622451</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<p>Two things today annoyed me (apart from finding I had bought mouldy carrots and caterpillar-enriched lettuce):<br /><br /><span"font-size:130%;"><span>ONE</span></span><br /><br />X: <span>hey how's it going...what are you doing these days, a PhD?</span><br />Me: yep<br />X: <span>just started?</span><br />Me: no, almost one year now...<br />X: <span>oh really? have you secured your funding? how is your project?</span><br />Me: Yeah I have funding. Not quite sure about what I'm doing though, but I'll keep going... just doing my lit. review while I try to figure it out<br />X: <span>Lit. review? Wait, are you doing your honours? Masters?</span><br /><span> </span>Me: <span>PhD.</span><br />X: <span>Why are you doing a lit. review? <span>I</span> never did a lit. review.</span><br />Me: It's a first year goal to finish a substantial piece of writing, so though I don't technically have to, I might as well write as a I read...<br />X: <span>Pfft (that's ridiculous)?!</span><br /><br /><br /><span"font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >TWO</span><br /><br />Me: I want MC to get back so he can help me.  I don't know what I should do.<br />X: <span>You really should try to think about it yourself.</span><br /><br /><br /><br />BOTH of them involve someone else trying to tell me I don't know what I'm doing/that I'm inferior. What is with that?  Am I not thinking enough? If I am not, how do I think more effectively? If I am thinking enough, does it mean I'm not good enough for a PhD? What does that even mean? Having a PhD is not a gold standard.</p><p>Everybody has an opinion, but few want to listen.  To one person I'm too arrogant to ask for help, to another I'm not independent enough. Too hard to get, too easy. Too organised, too dreamy.  Too energetic, too pessimistic.  Too nothing.<br /></p><p><span>I just want to talk with people I can trust and who won't try to 'win' at every opportunity. I don't want to talk to anyone else anymore. - leave me alone.</span></p><p>Also, I'm not going to let these comments get to me - I'm only going to listen to people I respect. You know I respect you, right? Maybe you don't.  Sometimes I feel so incredibly defeated in every aspect I said I'd try to achieve.  I just wanted to help you.<br /></p><br /><span"font-size:78%;"><br /></span><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>,  <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>,  <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/PhD" rel="tag">PhD</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a><img width='1' height='1' src='http://res1.blogblog.com/tracker/7903016-3319939060468263375?l=cherrieland.blogspot.com'/></div><img src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/HY8xLSlijlI" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:03:00 -0400</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/622451</guid>
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                    <title>Endures Forever</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/596981</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<span"font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >22 Feb</span><br /><br />Last entry for a while, ok!! BECAUSE? BECAUSE I am going back to the lab tomorrow!!!<br /><br /><span"font-size:130%;"><span>21 Feb</span></span><br /><br />Tonight I am watching <a href="http://nz.myspace.com/brookefraser">Brooke Fraser</a> perform at the <a href="http://www.skycityauckland.co.nz/Whats-On/SKYCITY-Starlight-Symphony.html">Starlight Symphony</a>. She radiates extraordinary beauty and talent.  It is as if while most of us aren't even looking or aware we need to look, she has found the seeds within her and nurtured them. I let her music catch me with a very strong feeling that I could never reach her or people like her - I'm not the same as them. I will still try to do my best, but no matter how near I want to be, I can never reach them.  It's almost the same as how I felt last year when I heard <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx8jQnUL7qk">Butterfly Kisses</a> (though notably, minus the sobbing and tears) : I feel like I owe an apology because I can't get any control over it. Regardless, I still have a naive hope.<br /><br /><span>Mystery</span> - <span>Brooke Fraser</span><br /><br />I want to get your words stuck in my head<br />I want to touch your soul with mine<br />I want to always be, be by your lead - always<br /><br />I want to know that you hung the stars in the sky<br />So on lonely nights I would know your presence<br />I want to feel your love under my skin, down in my bones<br /><br />Your love endures forever<br />Your love changes me<br />Your love makes me whole, makes me better<br />Your love endures<br /><br />I want to feel the wind and know that you're near me,<br />See in the seasons your mystery<br />I want to feel your love flow through my veins, pound in my heart<br /><br />Your love endures forever<br />Your love changes me<br />Your love makes me whole, makes me better<br /><br />And I want to know how this could be<br />Yet your love remains a mystery<br />That's woven all the way,<br />That's woven all the way,<br />That's woven all the way<br />Through me<br /><br />Your love endures forever<br />Your love, it changes me<br />Your love makes me whole, makes me better<br />Your love endures<br /><span"font-size:78%;"><br /></span><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Brooke+Fraser" rel="tag">Brooke Fraser</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Auckland+Starlight+Symphony" rel="tag">Auckland Starlight Symphony</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/545159627" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 21 Feb 2009 08:02:00 -0500</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/596981</guid>
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                    <title>I Never Think You Notice, But You Notice</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/594719</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<span"font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Feb 15<br /></span><br />I'm almost 100% certain that all my feeble mind does is revolve around the same, pathetic themes. In contrast, I am not at all certain whether my fat, grotesque physique can run 10 km anymore, let alone 21. But <span>on the bright side, this </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchitis">bronchitis</a><span> has given me an opportunity to </span><span>listen </span><span>wh</span><span>ere interactions have permitted</span>. Nevertheless, I feel fatigued and monotonous, like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Water_Cycle">the water cycle</a>, (condensation-evaporation-)<sub>n</sub> in a <a href="http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/auckland-and-whangarei-peak-100-humidity-2469047">humid</a> climate...<br /><br />Of course, all of this water in the air didn't leave a lot of room for <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/02/13/BU5H15TNRF.DTLamp;type=business">love</a> (but when did Valentine's Day leave room for love?). However, someone did have time to make <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE2tdvOxJiI">this</a> (thanks, <a href="http://www.zefrank.com/">ZF</a>).<br /><br />Meanwhile, <a href="http://blog.hotelclub.com/9-best-train-journeys-in-the-world/">these trains</a> are inspiring.  Last Friday, I saw Jenny Shipley fundraising for the <a href="http://www.heartfoundation.org.nz/">NZ Heart Foundation</a>, whose collection days are always disappointingly quiet.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.impawards.com/2005/posters/memoirs_of_a_geisha_ver2.jpg"><img src="http://www.impawards.com/2005/posters/memoirs_of_a_geisha_ver2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I read <a href="http://www.google.co.nz/url?sa=tamp;source=webamp;ct=resamp;cd=2amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FMemoirs_of_a_Geishaamp;ei=UvSYSeyFNpWksAPK9fx7amp;usg=AFQjCNEFUDH6zUZ0SRilu20qFK4XLaBYlwamp;sig2=PkPeGkleG8gKILoPi1v1fg">Memoirs of a Geisha</a> by Arthur Golden (sleep is really erratic). I was drawn in by the writing style, but was disappointed with the lack of depth in character development and creativity in plot (chick flick in disguise) given the intricate history already <span>given</span> to him. Still, I extracted some nice quotes,<br /><br /><span></span><blockquote><span>"Hopes are like hair ornaments. Girls want to wear too many of them. When they become old women they look silly wearing even one."</span> p344<br /><br /><span>"Adversity is like a strong wind... it holds us back from places we might otherwise go (and) it tears away from us all but things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as might like to be."</span> p405<br /><br /><span>"How strange... that the same woman who looked me so frankly in the eye as a girl, many years ago, can't bring herself to do it now."</span> p485<br /><br /><span>"How curious it is, what the future brings us. You must take care... never to expect too much."</span> p409<br /><br /><span>"Sometimes... I think the things I remember are more real than the things I see."</span> p497</blockquote><br />It reminded me of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raise_the_Red_Lantern">Raise the Red Lantern</a>, a film about a young Chinese girl who becomes one of four wives/concubines in a wealthy man's household. <span>I don't like reading about these young girls who, though clever, have naive hopes of love/romance/friendship/security</span> only to find (at some point) that her life/future is at the mercy of either men who regard her as little more than an object of beauty and pleasure (plaything) or women who regard her with competition instead of sisterhood.<br /><br />Some may say that personifying beauty and pleasure (and having such influence) is a respectable position and it may well be, but I think that <span>power is only an illusion</span>, as the beholder can take his affections away as his attention span pleases. I don't know that it is a feminist or humanist issue - these characters are desperate for love/security and naively think they will attain it from their focus of desire (desperation?). Maybe men and women's ideas of love differ? Maybe it is an individualistic thing? Is the bottom line that <span>desiring a relationship places the source of their happiness external to themselves?</span> Though these films were set some decades ago, isn't it the same now? <span>Aren't we still the same creatures?</span><br /><br /><span"font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Perception (Feb 12)</span><br /><div><blockquote><span>Those who are in love with practice without knowledge are like the sailor who gets into a ship without rudder or compass and who never can be certain whether he is going. Practice must always be founded on sound theory, and to this </span><span>Perspective</span><span> is the guide and the gateway; and without this nothing can be done well</span><span> in the matter of drawing.</span><br /><div><span>The Notebooks of Leonardo Da Vinci, Translated by Jean Paul Richter</span><br /></div></blockquote></div>Recently, my <a href="http://twitter.com/butterflynz">status</a> read, "Let's have more meaningful conversations, yeah?" To which two responses were received,<br /><ol><li><span>"I like poos,"</span> the irony of which makes me wonder - what makes a meaningful conversation? Maybe in how much it is informative, descriptive and/or interpretative (note continuum of objectivity to subjectivity), depending on its purpose (though I dare say some appear to lack purpose). Maybe meaningful conversations can be qualified by the extent it allows us to receive the lower frequencies - the main point(s), feeling(s), personality(ies) - usually through verbalisation of higher ones.</li><li><span>"Let's talk about the meaning of life,"</span> which I got annoyed with because I couldn't be sure whether they were mocking me or being serious. I would respect the former because it is cliche. For the record, I believe the meaning of life is what each individual makes of it, it is self-realisation (though some folks mistake that with self-indulgence), it is change, it is disequilibrium.  Done.  Sure, I want to know and understand <span>your</span> meaning of life and how you came to your (likely temporary) conclusion, but that's not what you said. Also, I like considering the implications life meanings, i.e. meaning of the meaning of life, e.g. my meaning of life basically makes any supreme 'being' irrelevant. Lots of people ask me what the meaning of life is - am I being mocked? A lot people also think I'm Christian. Weird aye.<br /></li></ol>Anyway, it's actually more than because it is cliche. It's because since I see (mostly?) everything as relative, there is no objective answer to that question (i.e. truth is practically a consensus or social construct, though theoretically I don't object to true reality being a basis for our interpretation), or rather, one cannot ever proove whether or not a 'real' reality exists, because we are always bound by our interpretation (unless we build some sort of self-serving machine... I'm not sure about this logic, but I will not digress here). Anyway, the POINT IS, I <span>am</span> interested in people's perception and in particular, <span>perception of self</span>. It's important because self-perception has a huge role in determining your self-confidence/motivation, relationships with others and success in the work-place, i.e. control of your life. Though it is often reported that people generally have a positive psychology/mentality (e.g. Dunning-Krueger effect - "unskilled and unaware of it"; Downing effect - people with lower IQs overestimate their own intelligence and underestimate others', while people with higher IQ can better estimate their own and others' IQs or even underestimate their own), I find that it is more than just positive/negative cognitive bias. <span>I think people have quite deluded self-image(s)!</span> In aspects of personality, talents and/or relationships, people can drastically misjudge their quality!<br /><ul><li>I want to know how people perceive themselves and how they come to their conclusions.</li><li>I want to be able to get an idea of how confused the population is - i.e. how aware they are of their perceptions and of any discrepancies between that and reality.</li><li>I want to know whether people have best friends or close relationships because this helps reduce the judgement error.</li><li>I want to know if telling people of their error will help them improve their judgement or whether the error is a mechanism that has an evolutionary advantage (?).</li></ul>Of course, I don't think I will ever know, even if I wanted to devise some sort of experiment (I don't). I, too, am bound by the limits of my perception. It's a stupid question, but, WHY, MAN, WHY?!<br /><br />But actually, I don't know if perception of self has much to do with perception in general, as perception of non-self involves less data collection (just simply because you are with yourself all the time, no other observation period can ever beat that). Do you think less information is better or not? Is it like the human condition of being overwhelmed by information (e.g. choices) and not being able to come to a conclusion (e.g. decision)? I don't know, it's that bandwidth issue again and the whole <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com/search/label/LifeasaLens">life as a lens</a> thing again. I told you my thoughts go around in circles. But I don't know what this means for reductionist approaches to science. I don't think it matters. It's like information/knowledge theory or whatever - wasn't there that 5 week discussion with NZ teachers about that sort of thing years ago and I was astroturfing.  I think these thoughts are my weakness.<br /><br />What I can't figure out is people tend to hide their perceived weaknesses, particularly from those they seek to gain respect from. One of my biggest insecurities is my intelligence (or lack thereof; the other is the lack of abilities to lead a meaningful/worthy life) and yet I write about my thoughts here. What if my most revered idols read this and realise I have the IQ of a wilted cabbage? But then again, I reread posts sometimes and I am certain I'm a wilted cabbage. I guess I never want to pretend to be what I'm not. I don't even know what that means coz we can always try to change for what we think is better.<br /><br /><span"font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Efficiency (Feb 17)</span><br /><br />I'm sort of panicking over here, because I've been sick for three weeks and only one of those weeks has been spent in the lab. You do know that there are only 52 weeks in a year, right? It brings to mind my old school-day schedule, which consisted of 6 x 50-minute classes during school hours and quite easily 10-11 hours of study or extracurricular activities. I don't know if I am getting old, things are just getting more difficult or (the worst thing) something is lacking in my motivation.<br /><br />Of course, now I'm thinking about the lab and lab stuff (because I've been shoo-ed) and I just remembered that almost two years ago, MC gave me a little file named 'sp**k', then flew away.  I avoided it for a week, then stared at it for another week and sort of freaked. I didn't even know how to call the routine. Then I realised I only had one week left so I went and tried to decipher every line and went through the tutorials (for the second time, since I obviously didn't grasp the relevance the first time in 2nd year) and eventually realised I couldn't do what I wanted with it (can't remember what) because the equation gave one -NaN value. I can't believe I actually like programming... no, you're right, it totally fits the description of things I'm likely to like. Actually, I don't know if that timeline is right because another time he went away I spent forever trying to measure the height of you-know and making that silly piezo-electric you-know. Which reminds me I had a new idea for that that I wasn't sure if it was a new idea or not.<br /><br />You know, I never ask for help unless I'm really stuck or have no idea how to proceed? I feel like a complete cop-out if I feel that I haven't tried hard enough to solve something before I ask for help. You know, sometimes that's bad because you can waste a lot of time trying to reinvent the wheel. So it is a bit of a balance, but I feel that you might as well go home if you're going to ask for help even before you've given any real attempt. I know for sure that some people think I'm a stubborn, proud know-it-all because of it. I know because they've told me. I hope they know now it's not true after all this time in the lab.<br /><br /><span"font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >When Can I Go Back? (Feb 18</span>)<br /><br />Of course, the deal is that<span> when I have solitude for a period of time, I regress back to my unvarnished self</span>. It's sort of like, <span>where have my fortresses gone?</span><br /><br />Anyway, I went and borrowed <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange">A Clockwork Orange</a> (coz DC recommended it ages ago), <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scarlet_Letter">A Scarlet Letter</a> (trying to up my classic count) and some trashy book yesterday so I would have something to do in between sleeps... which reminds me I should have borrowed <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Salt-World-History-Mark-Kurlansky/dp/0142001619/ref=pd_sim_b_4">Salt: A World History</a>. Anyway, I read 15 pages of Orange, as the Preface suggests, to get used to the language, but my heart's not in it. As for Letter, I could not get past the first chapter - I don't know why the author would spend a good deal of tree and ink describing his affections for a town. And the trashy book became too trashy. But you know what I've read a few chapters of now? <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Excitation-Contraction-Coupling-Contractile-Developments-Cardiovascular/dp/0792371585">The red book</a>.  I feel better that I'm doing something useful between sleeps because I'm getting really anxious that I'm achieving anything at all.<br /><br />And I'm also scared if I post this, people might <span>yell</span> at me for not resting. I am sleeping when I'm sleepy!!! My arms hurt from all the sleeping (I sleep on my side, sometimes with my arm underneath my 'waist'/the lack of space where there should be space)!!!<br /><br />You know what, also (coz I just realised I tag every post with PhD and Life, because they are almost the same thing these days)? DB said (after last year's little misty-eyed confession of uncertainties over my aptitude as a scientist/person with brains) that I should <span>diversify</span>, which is the right thing to say in risk management, but <span>actually if you want something really badly in life, like it's your passion, then giving it your 100% is the only choice you've got. But then, truth matters, too</span>. Yes it does. But anyway, I don't know why we're not friends anymore. It's like CP. You think people are really close friends and all of a sudden, they just disappear off the face of the Earth. You keep trying for a (long) while, but eventually you get the message.<br /><span"font-size:78%;"><br /></span><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Friendship" rel="tag">Friendship</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life+As+A+Lens" rel="tag">Life As A Lens</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/PhD" rel="tag">PhD</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/542366391" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:02:00 -0500</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/594719</guid>
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                    <title>Still Sick and Going a Bit Crazy</title> 
                    <link>http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/586301</link> 
                    <description><![CDATA[<div><span"font-size:130%;"><b>07.01.09 5:46 pm</b></span><br /><br />I'm have 2 more Coldagin left (of 30 I was prescribed) and have just bought 48 Panadeine (basically the same thing), 48 Nurofen, 20 paracetamol, 60 Gaviscon (it was on special) and 1 bottle of Robitussin. Apparently codeine is one of the best cough supressors (<span>antitussive</span>, an <span>expectorant </span>breaks down mucus) known.<br /><br /><div>I feel nauseous.<br />I feel hot.<br />I feel nervous.<br />There's no-one to talk to about interesting things.<br />I can't speak without coughing.<br /></div> <div>I really really really feel like throwing up.<br />I feel a little frantic.<br /><br /></div> Why am I sick in summer. Why am I still sick? KV is moving in tomorrow, MB wants to pick his stuff up, 3 separate groups of people want to go to the Lantern Festival. I don't care, I don't care - I want to throw up.<br /><br />Berocca Original tastes like shit.<br /><br />I have a long list of analysis to do, of which I have done half. I want to do the other half, pull it all together and then show it on Monday... as well as throw up. How many f*ing Ca2+ ions are in the dyad? Why does Langer and Peskoff says it gets as high as 600 uM? I want to throw up. I don't understand. Why does NCX have to be there to confound everything. I want to throw up.<br /><br />I should not have gone to PC's birthday bash (for 3 hours) yesterday. I should not have removed myself from the flat (for another 3 hours - KEIC, solitary dinner reading Elements of Biophysics) because my flatmate was having a day-long date in the lounge. I should have stayed in bed and iPoded out any scary sounds.<br /><br /><span>7:32 pm - I'm going to bed.</span><br /><b><span"font-size:130%;"><br /><br />Annoyed</span></b><br /><br />I hate it when people put apostrophes in the wrong place or use poor grammar, for example, photo's.<br />I hate it when people "can't" do simple addition/subtraction in their heads.<br />I hate it when people sound like the neighbourhood gossip, which a lot of people do. Shut up.<br /><br /><br /><b><span"font-size:130%;">Racism<br /></span></b><br />I was at the pharmacy and this old lady asked the pharmacist where she could find herbal tea.  He pointed her across the road and she said, "Oh wonderful! As long as it's not Chinese - you never know what they'll give you."  I went and hid in the next aisle.<br /><br /><br /></div><div><b><span"font-size:130%;">Dreams Of Blood and War<br /></span></b><br /><b>Last Night<br /></b><br />We are at a birthday party. I don't know the birthday girl (BG), but she is rich and beautiful. Her housing complex includes several fast-food restaurants. I order food for me and my friend (who knows BG) and we are about to sit, when BG takes over and begins to eat with her smaller group. We are shocked and I uncharacteristically react by knocking her (our) food off the table and walking out. As I move through the front gates (that resemble those of ancient China), I realise it is the early, darkest hours and I am scared.<br /><br />I begin to walk and soon find a group of backpackers. I ask them where I could use a phone and an American girl tells me to stick with them, it'll be ok. We stop at a van nestled between two abandoned caravans and she says, "This is us for the night." She climbs into the driver's seat and the other 6 clamber in the back. I sit in the passenger's seat and am grateful for a place to sleep when she starts the engine to look for parties. I feel tired and slightly alarmed, so when we near the city, I ask to be let off and I begin to walk the rest of the way home. I remember thinking that I didn't want to be dropped right outside since I didn't want them to stay.<br /><br />Snap, I'm trying to walk home. I'm in an army uniform and there is a line of similar people behind me. All around us are other lines of about 10 people moving toward a similar destination. We continue on our planned route to base camp, when all of a sudden we see the other lines turning around. An officer is turning everyone away, saying the path is removed from service. We wince because it means going back down and around the mountain, along the more treacherous route.  However, as we begin to turn, our leader shouts from behind to continue. I sense that something is not right, but follow instructions, as we had been walking for days and the fastest route to shelter seemed the best in my mind.<br /><br />We are almost at the base (an old school building, which was apparently my old school in my dream) and although we couldn't quite see it, we could see many lines of soldiers converging. We are told by kitted aides standing by to go down through these grassy hills. My friend (MC) and I walk and begin to run. The hundreds of troops running beside us seem to feel the same numb urgency. We look about us and the landscape is now covered in belongings. We ask an aide whether these were ours stuff and she shouts, "No, no! Just keep going!"  So we do, but almost instantly I see a pile of clear plastic folders enclosing letters and stationary. I shout, "MC, that's our stuff!"  She sees it too and throws me a puzzled, helpless look that says, "are you sure? Why is it all over the ground?" They are letters of secrets we were told to write to ourselves and were supposed to be transported back to base in guarded army trucks.  Now, every 5 metres or so there would be another 10 m wide mound of people's belongings. We hastily pick up our stuff (for some reason I had three small bags instead of one and I swore at myself for being such a hoard), glanced at the other bags and wondered where the others were, then continued to run. People were sprinting now, though their footsteps are drowned by the sound of helicopters.<br /><br />We finally reach the complex and it is empty. We have no idea where anybody else is and we cannot hear any clues. It is a convent school, where most corridors are naturally lit by narrow, dusty windows. On this day, the light is white and blinding but seemingly unale to penetrate the thick atmosphere of the school. A white-haired woman in a teacher's dress and cardigan finds us creeping up the staircase and motions for us to follow her. We soon recognise her as my old form-teacher. She smiles and explains that she has been told to lead us to safety. She walks steadily with correct posture and her head held high. We think everything is going to be ok and smile at NO (my actual stats teacher from highschool) who hustles towards us with a no-nonsense expression. She nods and is gone. I wonder why she is going in the opposite direction from us as we walk along a right-hand-railed path that now seems to be in an underground carpark. It leads to a little office in the middle that looks exactly like a Schroff's Office, but sometimes a reception and the path is wooden instead of concrete.<br /><br />The teacher walks down the path as it bends left and the three of us follow in a line. I am last. I can hear the shoes clap against the concrete/wood and suddenly I sense extreme danger, scream "NO!" and dodge to the right. I have just run three steps when I hear a silenced-shot and see blood splattered on the concrete wall in front of me. I can smell it. My friend, MC has run at smaller angle and has blood on her. I follow her - I don't want to be alone. So I get blood on me, too, as the shots continue. I turn to see the first bullet had gone went straight through the teacher's head and thereafter through her torso. Her body hangs in midair as the bullets pellet through her like a pillow. The blood is setting on us and the expression her face is set as one of inevitability, as if she knew her death. But why did she lead us here? Did NO know? I look in the office and there is nothing there. Everything is still.<br /><br />Somewhere in my dream I want to cry, but I don't.<br /><br />Cut. I am in a hotel complex with Japanese decor.  The lighting makes the room look pink and warm in a sickly sort of way. I am wearing a baby pink singlet with rose pink satin shorts. The room I am sleeping in barely fits the three single beds in there and they barely fit the 7 of us. I look up from the middle bed and find my makeup accessories on top of our duvet. I think it is strange, but daren't touch them in case it wakes up the others.  I manage to get out to try find a bathroom, but our en suite is being used.  I go next door where some members of my lab are staying. Luckily, the bathroom is free. The door doesn't slide close all the way, but I risk it. I need to change my sanitary pad and I do, but when I look I need to change it again. I am confused, but try to hurry as I can hear voices.  I peer out and it is MC2 and PC whispering intensely. MC2 is saying that the danger is too great, we need to leave. He starts to walk over to the bathroom door. I am done, I look over at the waste basket and see it is overflowing with used napkins and blood. He doesn't notice and tells me we have to get out. Today. It's 2 am, we have to get ready, we have to leave now.<br /><br />I take my clear plastic bag (with letter and stationary) and am ready to go.<br /><br /><br /><b>Two Weeks Ago<br /></b><br />I am observing over her shoulder. I was her. I am not her. I don't exist. She sits in a group of friends, one of whom is her boyfriend. They are in love. They are laughing. They sit in on stone seats and the stone ground, next to a square stone table. It is the central courtyard of the ancient Chinese house with doors facing East, West and South. The boyfriend goes to get a glass bottle of milk (with the golden foil on the top) from the fridge and drops it. Everybody laughs and she offers to get some from the local store. She leaves by the Southern doors with a basket on her bike, smiling contently.  She doesn't come back. The war has started and the local village is bombed by the Japanese. The friends and the boyfriend mourn, however he is conversed by a priestess and he can turn back time.<br /><br />He goes back to the second before he drops the milk and doesn't drop it. He saves her because she doesn't go to the store. Their friends are as before and he is happy because he knows he changed the future for the better. Later, their friends decide they want a barbecue so they all go to the supermarket. They're having a good time choosing things and the girl and the boy are pushing the trolley together. Suddenly, there's a Japanese soldier at the end of the aisle and they can't leave. She is raped and killed in the aisle flanked by Japanese wine in green bottles on one side, and fresh milk in glass bottles with the golden tops.<br /><br />He turns back time and they don't want a barbecue. He suggests they go to the park. They have a great time and he thinks his future has changed for the better. They all bicycle/walk back home. I see them approaching the Southern doors. The next moment, I look inside and there are bodies all over the courtyard. The youth are lying everywhere, in positions conveying struggle, with bullet wounds in foreheads and torsos and disembodied limbs. The boy and girl are metres apart. The wooden furniture is broken and everything looted. The war has begun. I hear music and the notes are played on machine guns.<br /><br /><br /><b><span"font-size:130%;">Learning</span></b> <div> </div>   <div>I was browsing <a href="http://artichoke.typepad.com">Artichoke</a>'s latest entry, when this statement jumped out at me,<br /><i><b><br /></b></i></div>  <div> <blockquote><i><b>"Effective teaching and learning occur when both my students and I can tell you; what we are doing, how well it is going, and what we need to do next."</b></i></blockquote> </div>  <div> </div>  <div><br />And my immediate reaction was, "hah. I don't know what I'm doing and I'll bet you that my perception of progress is much different from my teacher," and it struck me - my teacher. I keep thinking progress, three years, becoming the best scientist I can be... and yet I have forgotten to remember I can't learn by myself. I have to learn from my <i>teacher(s)</i>, not <i>supervisor(s)</i> - oh hell the horrible misinformation that comes out of that name - <i>supervisor, supervisor</i> - as if I was on some manufacturing line with a set task and my performance is overseen by my supervisor... as if I tick off how many caps I've put on today and put it on my record and if my productivity is in the 99th percentile, I can show my supervisor and he'll reward me by putting me in front of the line.<br /><br />I'm a<i> student </i>and every student needs a teacher... and yes, a more concrete one than the "cosmos". Stop needing to prove you belong here.<br /></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div></div><div><span"font-size:78%;">Technorati Tags : <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cherrieland" rel="tag">Cherrieland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dream" rel="tag">Dream</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a></span></div><div>From <a href="http://cherrieland.blogspot.com">cherrieland.blogspot.com</a></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Cherrieland/~4/533984032" height="1" width="1"/>]]></description> 
					<pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:02:00 -0500</pubDate> 
					<guid isPermaLink="true">http://cherrie.tigblog.org/post/586301</guid>
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